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The Star Fades More Each Day

One more for the road he laughed,
for he had to tuck in his shining star,
before the Sandman sent her
into magic realms.

Blurred vision didn't see
the tree
that ended his dreams.

And his little star
still waits.

Author notes

Prompt: on the rocks

30-40 words

In a list

A contest entry

Please Tell Me What You Think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • crimsondew
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    sad, but beautiful imagery...congrats on the bronze!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    Congrat's on the trophy...so well deserved my friend...


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow, this is amazing, I am stunned by where you took this. Best to you in the contest


  • ZachP silver member
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    Captivating, for sure; this strikes a chord deep within this ol' heart of mine.

    The imagery is stellar; the last line, heartbreaking.

    Brilliance, for sure.

    Good luck in the contest,
    Zach


  • mysticstorm gold member
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    WOW! This is wonderful and very moving...I do believe we thought along the same lines, but yours holds so much more power and a very shocking and sad ending...
    excellent for the prompt and in brevity...reads Gold to me!

    Love to you, my friend!
    mystic


  • penman gold member
    January 3
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Another creative and gifted write. So very unique for the prompt. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Ken-Maverick
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    A very "out of the box" take on the prompt Gaylene. Nicely penned as always
    All the best to you in the contest

    Ken


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to Allpoetry

    Oh wow.. honey this is so heartbreaking.
    It makes me sad, to read this and know that there are people like this.. how many do you suppose wait on those that they always cared about to come home, when they just can't anymore?


  • Desire gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My~

    Now this is sad
    Powerful and Creative based on the prompt but so tugs at the Heartstrings~
    Excellent verse~
    last two lines grabs...
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
    Best wishes in the contest too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • Denerica silver member
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    Loved this imagery...hate putting the star away...I love stars this is simply wonderful.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful Imagery!

    You really captivated me with the words you used to describe so much within few lines, you are a very talented soul, though sad, it went well together, and set the very mood your poetic soul was going for. A wonderfully inscribed piece my dear friend. All the best within the contest as well. This piece

    Much love and light, Timothy


  • penman gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Wow, what a great choice of words. So very creative and skillfully expressed. Best of luck in the contest.

1 - 12 of 12