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Another Puppet

Weightless...
I am drifting away on a sea of broken glass
Sleeping, but awake, hearing nothing, and everything
Seeing the world phase in front of me, then fade away
Trapped...
I am a caged bird, unable to reach freedom through the bars
I am singing a sad song of melancholy while I wait for release
Seeing the world phase in front of me, then fade away
Burdened...
A thousand weights hold me down, and I carry countless stones
I struggle to move on while pinned by forces beyond my power and control
Seeing the world phase in front of me, then fade away
Battered...
Ten thousand seasons beat against my brow as I wait
Wait for freedom, release from this dreary existence
Seeing the world phase in front of me, then fade away
Frightened...
I am a little bird, resting lightly on it's nest
Fearful lest I sleep too deeply and be devoured
Seeing the world phase in front of me, then fade away


Will I die here?
Trapped in this cage of iron
Will I somehow find release?
Or am I just another puppet, with no strings?

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Symphony
    April 25

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    This was so melancholic, so full of frustration!

    Favourite part had to be,

    :I am a caged bird, unable to reach freedom through the bars
    I am singing a sad song of melancholy while I wait for release: <-- ver well worded!

    Thanks for entering


  • camus gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    I think we are all "pinned" by forces beyond our control and power. Your poem successfully conveys not only your impotence in the face of greater forces but also the desolation you feel. It seems to me that it also centres on a lack of individuality and free choice - "puppet" implies this to me. In my opinion, you will never be trapped for your poetry exhibits your acknowledgement of your imprisonment and your desire to break free. It is only those who perceive the prison who may find the release key. Tony


  • Taodesteve
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    Iron is meant to be broken, you need only push hard enough and the bars will bend. It may take changing all of your being to push hard enough, but you need only try and you will be free.

  • Papagallo
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    "Please release me let me go" words of a Willie Nelson song. Your poem says so much. We all are puppets in one way or another. Your poem hits life smack in the head. May you do well in the contest.


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    While I will admit that the "caged bird" is a little cliche, I myself have used it & actually I love the way you utilized it here. As a self professed "fledgling poet", I think you show great promise. There is quite a bit of lovely imagery here, my favorite being the sea of broken glass. Very nice. Thank you for sharing & good luck!


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    Very well done. There are many types of prisons in the world. Some are physical some are mental or emotional and all prisoners look forward to release.

    Congratulations on a well written poem.

    Mike

  • pinksheep
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is good ,ie ten thousand seasons beat etc-i like
    this amongst your other writing in this poem, it is captivating,is
    this too prosaic? please may i thank you for writing this
    it has such detail-


  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    Deep, sorrowful poetry. well formed and thought provoking.

    I don't think puppets write poetry, perhaps you are the puppeteer

    Jeff

1 - 8 of 8