Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

There was a smile

There was a smile
That hid behind
A bruised face
And a forgotten heart

There was a smile
That blossomed with
A kiss and a hug
But now it was broken
Like a promise made
By an unfaithful lover

Its shards scattered
Across a plain desert
Moving with the sand dunes
A lost soul; lonely and desperate
Picked up a piece and placed
It on the tip of her tongue

She wanted a taste of happiness
But she bled pain and loss
She wanted to smile again
But she cried tears of
Regret and self-pity

Author notes

Koromone
http://allpoetry.com/Koromone

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • TabbyCat
    February 13

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the imagery in the third stanza. I wanted more...it seemed to end too suddenly. But still, I liked it.


  • written-in-ink
    January 24
    Edit | Reply
    wow

    sad and intense


    i liked it
    very well writtne
    thank you

  • reason for removal:

    People who haven't won any trophies at all, please enter here! Everyone who enters walks away with a trophy!


    • Koromone
      January 12
      Edit | Reply
      oh I'm sorry i thought you meant for the poem..I'm sorry

  • Judith Chandler
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    I like the image of picking up one of the shards and tasting it.

    It can be so hard to smile again when you feel so betrayed.

    Nice write.


  • WordsDoMatter
    January 2
    Edit | Reply

    I like it

    your imagery is well done... one thing though, even if you don't think it is perfect, don't tell anyone, just keep revising it until YOU think it is. no apologies - this IS a well written piece - Kevin

1 - 8 of 8