Trapped in darkness, spreading light.
Keeping us afloat while fading away.
We come, the love you gave us glowing
Bringing light to your darkened soul.
The prismatic Light of our love comes from
Your teaching us to believe in ourselves,
To believe and trust the spirits of others,
Just as we know and believe in yours.
Coming upon you huddled and bleeding.
We surround you in love and warmth,
Our many lights become one blazing fire
Among us you heal in lights you set ablaze.
Author notes
written for my most loved friend in her hour of need
what do you really think? please be honest!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Ah this is a very nice poem. It's so nice of you to write a poem for your friend in her hour of need. I hope things look up for her
-Steve- -
This was a good write. Nice keep it up.
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I like this poem, very interesting
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this is a great poem...it keeps you moving and it really has this sense of we all know who that angel is in our lives
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Alright, I have to be honest. Why? One, it's who I am. And two, because you asked.
I liked it. ;D There's something about this poem that gives me reason to keep writing. It needs work, I won't say it's perfect. (Nor, do I think my own work is perfect.) But, keep up the good work ;] -
Excellent begining.
M'Lady Sunduiri,
I feel that this poem has great potential. I would suggest that you employ the use of punctuation for it will allow the reader a far easier time of reading.
I would also suggest that thee take a look at the last line for it doth not truly make sense, though the general sense of what thee are attempting to speak is there.
Over all I feel this is a wonderful piece.
Rev. Alimae
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Thank you
I did make some revisions I hope that helped make it clearer. thank you for your input please let me know if it is better.
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I love it
the metaphors are awesome hun
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