Another end of a year,
Another beginning of another,
Another year has passed,
Another year I have lost.
But instead of smiles,
The giggles for the new year countdown,
I find myself alone,
Locked in a room.
Barred from the world,
From the screams of laughter and joy,
From those who wanted to celebrate,
Whilst I couldn't care.
Soon, I would have to face them,
Smile, scream and laugh,
Keep them happy,
It stops the questions.
Here's to another year,
Full of tears, heartbreak and disappointments,
Sure they will be smiles, laughter and memories to be gained too,
But somehow, it's always the worse that linger.
I wish I could have taken a deep breath,
Without being thrown into the deep end,
But as usual,
For me, that's impossible.
Drowning in my own problems,
Building by the hour,
Head full of problems,
Heart breaking.
Here I was,
Asking for another chance,
A better new year,
Just one last go.
When all I get it shit.
Blamed.
Accused.
Hurt.
Sometimes, you wonder...
What's the point this year?
Author notes
just an attempt to get some of my depression on paper...
sorry its a poor attempt of work at 3am lol.
Comments
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I never make new years resolutions anymore. whenever I do I also break them and waste them. I feel like maybe I can improve on myself and my life but the same shit happens only worse. I used to hope the new year would be better than the next but now I don't even hope anymore, I don't even care if things get worse or better.
I wish I could give you something light or advice but really, what's the point? shit is going to happen and we're all going to fall in the gutter but like Oscar Wilde said "some of us are looking at the stars." and there should be hope and there will be beauty but you can't have the good without the bad or else there would be no balance or nothing to define the good.
all my love
HNB
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Awwww hun
please there's always a point.
The last 2yrs in my life have probably been the hardest - I watched my Nan die of cancer then got my heart broken by someone who I thought gave a shit basically but there's always a point.
And for you writing this at 3am, it's pretty damn good!
Keep your head up and you know where I am if you need to talk
x.x.x.x
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