Wicked moves and turntable love
Something little girls dream about
Dancing as close to you as a glove
I don't understand how I could have gone without
Fairytale moments and fantasy lust
Once upon a times
Swift mouth to make her blush
And losing innocence isn't a crime
Lay me down in your gentle bed
Lay on me with you body warm
Lay with me for tomorrow we will wed
Lay with me and listen to the storm
I hear music ringing from all around
Sounds from a wonderful day, a wonderful hour
To you I will now be bound
As I come marching with a hand of flowers
Lift my veil and kiss my cheek
Say your vowels and till death do we part
I feel my knees shake and I start to go weak
I listen to your words and the beating of my heart
Wicked moves and turntable love
Dancing at a wedding little girls dream about
A story sent from heaven above
A fairytale ending without a doubt
A contest entry
- Easy Points!!!!!!!! by Kathraina.
675 points, ended January 4, 52 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - aleatoric quickie; --->2/5 by innocence jaded.xx.
400 points, ended February 16, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best Prewrites on Ap by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 25, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Beautiful it really was a wonderful little tale. A very intresting twist in this too I liked that.
The Positives:
Great style wonderful ryhming you did an excellent job
The Negatives:
Nothing that I see great job
My Favorite Part:
Lift my veil and kiss my cheek
Say your vowels and till death do we part
I feel my knees shake and I start to go weak
I listen to your words and the beating of my heart
This was wonderful I really loved this part.
Overall:
I give this an 7/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
aww, this is absolutely beautiful ! i love it (: your rhyming didn't seem forced at all, and it flowed very well. thank you for entering (: ♥


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Pretty good
I like it. It flows very well, very.... melifluous.
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This is a great poem. I love the title, and pick...everything! It flows really well, and a good story. Great job! And good luck in the contest. You have a good chance of winning.
♥ Kathraina




