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In the Sahara

Lying in the Sahara,
Sand on my flesh,
Sun in my eyes,
Elephants sound off in the distance.
The wood calls for me.
It bekons my tribe
To dance around the fire,
In the ashen moonlight...
This is Africa.

Author notes

Whatchya thinkin'? Photo was a random browse...

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, this is a gorgeous picture you paint of Africa, shame there is so much devestation past what the eyes see. Best to you in the contest

  • Get the sunscreen!

    This is a fine write. Very visual. I think lying in the Sahara in full daylight with the sun in your eyes will give you a mad sunburn & make you blind! I like this. All the best in the Contest. I entered this also. Africa is such a mag place!


  • Heroesrox
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    By 'Wood", I mean that the Tribal dude in the piece yearns for it. Sorry for confusion!

  • headintheclouds
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    It was a good poem!
    but one thing I cant understand whats the wood doing in the desert?
    I really like your ending it pulls everything together!
    Good write!
    it was sure fun to read...


  • briareus gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    The eternal body Imagination transported to seemingly remote place, and there connecting separated places and things to make a picture and cross-section of a large continent, with color, sensations and details to round out the vision.


  • Man of Harlech silver member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    The photo has a very sensual tone that invites the reader. I was bothered by the inclusion of the last line, but the second reading convinced me that it was necessary.

  • Nice use of colour; gained my attention straight away. Nice image too.
    This is a great piece and the word limit doesn't take away from it at all, which can sometimes happen. Overall brilliant work and one thing is that you can do without the punctuation at the end of every line, just where it needs a pause.
    Best of luck in the contest!


  • Zeprina-Jaz
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    It's almost like a haiku in that you really have thought about the words so that you can say the most about Africa in not so many words. Beautifully controlled.


  • JadeMantis
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    Great write! I really like the imagery and flow in this piece. A really great take on the prompt.

    Good luck in the contest.


  • guardianhost gold member
    January 1

    Edit | Reply

    Romantic and rich

    With in a few words you captured the essence of a leader wanting to transport his tribe from a harsh land unto a lush wood that beckons ...My favorite line...The wood calls to me. It beckons my tribe.
    Great use of the picture prompt. Well done.

     

    I look forward to reading you in the future.

     

     

1 - 11 of 11