I stand exposed, vulnerable,
Ready to give myself to you.
my very virginity my innocence
But you only sprinkle icy chills upon my head
Leaving me shivering, my spine an uneasy eel (are you mocking, laughing?)
hypothermia and discomfort your most tender gifts
Yet I have returned every day for the last 3, 4 months.
I think we're making progress, you know.
Your waters are warming to me (slowly)
Sure, It will take time, but I know that one day soon
You will erupt in a torrent of firey pleasure.
And
You and I will be one.
Author notes
Hope this makes you feel a little happier! <3
A contest entry
- feeling just a little unloved. by written-in-ink.
700 points, ended January 24, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING GOES by VerminVomit.
1300 points, ended March 9, 146 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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um... did you read the rules?
im not gonna dq you since i like the beggining
the begining sucks you into the poem and makes you wanna read the rest of it
but the part before the end was really boring. its too... like... i dont like it
the end is amazing though
"You will erupt in a torrent of firey pleasure." is my fave line
awesome job, thanks for entering -
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By 'did you read the rules?' I assume you mean in relation to the 'no adult stuff' rule.
I have put a 'MATURE CONTENT' disclaimer on it now, hope it's alright.
Glad you liked some of it, anyway!
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i meant "did you read the rules" as in "did you read the part that said no lovey stuff"
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oops.. i spelled relatable wrong.. i hate when i do that... lol
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smooth like velvet
I really love this poem, Its very realatable. Thanks for your comment too.
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It means a lot to me to get comments from people I don't know, as they tend to be honest and impartial. I feel that yours was one of these.
Thank you for stopping by! X
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wow intense and yes it did make me feel better so thank you very much
=]]
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you saucy begger
no seriously it great that you explore sensitive areas with an insight into very real human feeling. and its pretty hilarious, given what youre actually talking about!
its good tristan.... im still waiting on that awe inspiring one! and thanks for your comments as well, i think youre too generous
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You have looked at this poem deeply and enjoyed for all of the right reasons- fankoos!
Yep- keep reading and hopefully you'll find that poetic gem!
I hope... lol
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Great metaphor!
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I am humbled that one such as yourself thinks so- thank you my friend! X
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Wow. A little emo, but wonderful nonetheless.
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Emo? lol
The inspiration for this was my frustration at my shower not giving hot water. I don't think any emo peeps would use that as a starting point... XD
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somethig terribly heart breaking without being all emo
lol
but yeah
i will
i promise
thank you
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