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Sonnet for a “New Friend”

SONNET FOR A “NEW FRIEND”

So pretty when I think for happiness
All voices and sorrow become vanish
A deep silence which holds the key
Of my thoughts and of my amusing joy  

A new face I see in my day dreams
Smiling, attractive, compassionate and serene
And eyes which shine of that beautiful face
Make me calm and raise my happiness

How beautiful and delightful that dream
Which I know soon will be ended
But this scene will be in my reminds
In my charming and blissful reminds

Wondering what to say or what I can
But May it remain for longer as it can

By
The poet of hearts and beautiful words
The one who lives in hearts
Friend for friends

Author notes

She would be so much happy if I will tell her that the poem I wrote for her, got a Gold prize

A contest entry

I wrote in front of her, when she came here two years ago

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 70 of 70

  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    A very nice love song

    Jeff

  • Purrsanthema
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your prize! Keep working on your English!


  • Denerica
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    I like how you used the word reminds, it is beautiful and a friend receiving that is blessed. Wonderful write. Blessings.


  • serenity silvermoon
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    very beautiful poem from the heart none of the less i hope she gets to read it for this was a wonderful poem thanks for sharing your heart with me and her when she reads it

  • Shukkaku
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a sweet poem and i hope she enjoys reading what you have wrote. Truly beautiful and heartfelt x


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely peom. What an amzing poem for a friend. I hope your friend enjoys reading your wonderful work.


  • Angelflower
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful! truly moving in soul and heart.. words of a poet form life in another heart.. Beautiful!


    Angel

  • Crystal-Marie
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    wow ... ur a great writer


  • Cynder
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    This was marvelous.. Definitely a soul mover


  • ScarletO gold member
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and wonderful feelings of a friend so loved by you. I think remain needs an s to sound right. I am admirer of sonnets for they are so detailed with rhyme and syllable counts. Not easy for me.

  • Out Out
    January 17
    Edit | Reply
    Haunting... and convincing. Great friends are often dream friends. Unreal, phantoms


  • Cant force beloved
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely poem. Such a treasure. ♦


  • Dark Prince Chaos
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    thia was beautifull i loved it great work XD ^_^ -bows-


  • duana
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    this is so wonderful- I have never read anything so beautiful and well written on here. It deserves more than 3 smilies.


  • tothegrave
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    This was BEAUTIFUL. Very, very moving, but kinda tragic in a way too, you know? Like it's almost too good to last. I've had a lot of these moments like this, meeting someone new that completely changes your perspective on things, and I can only hope that it doesn't end for you as it did for me. This was a gorgeous poem, and I'd applaud it more if I could. Possibly comment on one of mine maybe? Thanks for this wonderful read.


    • The.poet.of.hearts
      January 20
      Edit | Reply
      No, No. no tragic, she lives in srilanka, so she will come in next december thanks for the comment


  • Chanson belle
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    this is really pretty
    sonnets always sound romantic but yours is expically so

  • serenity silvermoon
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    very wonderful poem i hope she gets to read this beautiful and heart felt poem there was nothing i did not like in this poem i loved it all its great too have friends


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    How beautiful and delightful that dream
    Which I know soon will be ended
    But this scene will be in my reminds
    In my charming and blissful reminds


    This verse was confusing and redundant. It was a pretty written poem but doesn't seem to follow the sonnet form that I know

    rhyme of abab cdcd efef gfgf and then a rhyming couplet is a sonnet. Other then this it was well written Thank you for sharing


  • LadySerenity
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautifully written. There is a lot of love and speaks of true friendship. well done.

    ~*Lady Serenity


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    this is indeed a very beautiful poem that you've written. the are a few suggestions that I have, but there are only that suggestions. third stanza 3rd & 4th line you end the sentence with the same word "reminds" and then in the couplet you also have the the same word at the end. "can"
    I've never written a sonnet before, though I've tried and failed. I realize there is pattern, but I'm thinking that if you use different words instead of the same if maybe helpful.
    I of course could totally be way off on this..

    the poem itself is very beautiful and the imagery that you've painted with your words is wonderful

    friends are a treasure all of their own. I know for me without mine I wouldn't be where I'm today.

    kat


  • XxLoveXxIsXxPainXx
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    very well said =] its really beautiful keep writing


  • keybladekitty gold member
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I greatly enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.


  • Scyphon
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    A very beautiful and hearty poem, carries much love and wishes for a friendship so true. Really loved the imagery and wording. Well done, keep them coming

    • The.poet.of.hearts
      January 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks alot..... just now im about to tell, how many comments and applause she got for this sonnet which i wrote for her.
      she is no where in the internet world


  • camus gold member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    I like your poem as it is so filled with honest emotions and devotion. I think the reason it didn't achieve an award is there is an awkwardness in your use of English at times. This is not a negative criticism as I admire the fact that you have written an attractive poem in a language that may not be your first one. Good luck with your love.

    • The.poet.of.hearts
      January 20
      Edit | Reply
      Hey, thanks alot for your comment, I just try more and more to improve my English. I'm hopeful to achieve the height of my language one day.


  • Salty Hibiscus gold member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for sharing your beautiful work. friendships are very important to me and i am very grateful that they are in my life. i don't know what i'd do without them. i look forward to see more of your work.

    =)


  • silver-X-lining gold member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is well penned and you get your feelings across well. You use beautiful imagery and the piece is a very enjoyable read. My only critique is that there are a few grammar things, so maybe read over it for those sincce they obscure the poem's meaning in places. Like
    "So pretty when I think for happiness
    All voices and sorrow become vanish"--the beginning of the poem is a bit unclear. Maybe change it to something along the lines of "So pretty when I think about happiness / that all voices and sorrow vanish"? And a few things like that. And in line 7, change "of" to "from". This was a great write though, well done. I enjoyed reading! &hearts


    ~HH-x


  • Unsigned gold member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    Well a true sonnet is far more structured that this and has 10 syllables per line and in a certain order to the rhyme i.e abab cdcd efef gg with the emphasis on the last syllable.

    Even so this is a beautiful poem and a credit to you..

    I wish you luck my friend, and I hope you get the gold you want.

    Well done

    Simon


  • Hikari Lady
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and serene indeed. I enjoyed reading this so much as it contained good imagery and beautiful words in regards of your love.

    Much love
    ~Noor


  • artis
    January 8

    Edit | Reply

    perhaps change this line to :

    All voices and sorrow become vanished also

    But this scene will be endlessly re-mastered
    in all my charming and blissful reminds

    Wondering what to say or what I can do
    But may her beauty remain with me
    for as long as my days.

    thsi is a lovely tribute to one who you cherish, and yes you should send it to her because it is gold, and gold is a rare substance much like friendship that all cherish. Lovely write...Artis


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely sentiments expressed in these lines. Would be nice to get a gold, for sure. Good flow and loving thoughts throughout this sonnet.

  • carole21
    January 5
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    nicely penned . . good luck in the contest !!


  • Selithia
    January 5
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    Hey Crazy BOY! this is beautiful...where have you been? -Crazy girl


    • The.poet.of.hearts
      January 7
      Edit | Reply
      So near to you, than ever before, won't go away now

      my words to you

      Crazy boy to his Crazy girl!


  • HeavensNewestAngel
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem you wrote for the love of your life. I am sure she was delightful to see such words of love from you. Congratulations on the Gold you won!


  • debilynn gold member
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    a very sweet love poem. good rhythm and rhyme. great imagery. thank you for sharing your talent. keep writing poet! God bless you always


  • Visit.Me.On.Mars
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    awww this poem is so cute


  • Faded Existence
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    Well this poem definitely puts up competition
    This was a wonderful write! I really liked it. Thanks for your entry! and good luck

    -Faded

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