47
When I was 47, then I wished for 29
Now I'm 60 47 would just suit me fine
When I'm 80 47 will be lost to me
69 will only be a faded memory
If I get to 94 with eighty long past sung
Then 47; half a life ago will seem so young
A contest entry
- Can you write about something random? Can you? by squirrelgirl.
900 points, ended January 24, 2009, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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im 31 and wish for 47 lol. maybe things will be better then. loved this write. very creative
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I really like this! It's very creative, and I love the humor and idea of it. The rhyme is also very good, this made me smile and I very much enjoyed reading it.
Good luck in the contest, and well penned,
~lost
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I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I must confess though, I used to watch Get Smart and it is 99 I really longed for.
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The rhyming is really good. It doesn't seem forced or anything.
Perhaps you should change up some of the words on the second line. I think 'Now I'm 60 47 would suit me just fine' would work better. But that's just me. Maybe it sounds better to you that way.
Thanks for entering my contest!
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Either way
it's the same to me. Being Canadian my sentence structure is probably more British/European. Judy Garland would never say it the way I did, but I am not Judy Garland.
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