New rears yes-solutions

This year I am going to do better.
This year, I am going to start remembering where I parked at the mall,
instead of wandering around aimlessly pressing the buttons on my key ring, waiting for my horn to honk and my lights to flash somewhere in the ocean of cars surrounding me.
This year, I am going to start getting to bed at a decent hour, instead of staying up so late on the pc that my eyes are spiraling, oops it's 1 am and my pc is spinning around and around. Looks like I already blew that one, huh? Well, there's always next year.
This year, I resolve that, though I might begin an exercise regimen, perhaps for one or two days, I will never stick with it, so I am not even going to bother with that.
This year, I am not going to try and lose weight, cuz it always finds me again. It just follows me around until the holidays, then it jumps on my bones again, hmmmm, come to think of it, that is what my husband does too!
This year, I am going to stop telling lies............................ on December 32nd!!!!!
This year, I am going to ban gasoline and ride my bike everywhere. (I can say that, because it is not December 32nd yet!)
This year I am going to Christmas shop every month, to relieve the stress of Christmas, but not like last year, where I kept opening the presents every month because I really needed one of those things in that box for myself instead.
This year I am going to find new friends, because my old friends are tired of being stalked by me! I know this because of the long police record and the long list of protective orders. Those didn't matter though, because they all say I cant come within 50 yards of them, so I can still stand 50 yards away from them and I can yell REALLY LOUD! What about you? Wanna be my friend? I promise I will always stay right by your side, well, until you get a protective order, then we will have to be a little farther apart than that.
This year, I am really going to graduate from high school. I am in the 40th grade, and my grade point average is 4, no wait, that is my IQ, no, maybe it's my ring size. Awwww, heck, maybe I just need to go back to kindygarden and start over.
This year, I am going to find a new hobby, instead of writing lame stuff like this, I think I will start a club for people like me, who like to work on cars, but don't know what the heck they are doing, so they end up with a bunch of worthless cars for yard ornaments. Yeah, I can call it the dip shift club.
This year, I am going to figure out what kind of cookies are in my computer by taking it apart and finding them, so I can eat them. I still can't figure out why anyone would have wanted to store cookies in such a wierd place.
This year, I am going to figure out how old I am in dog years and I am going to tell people that's how old I am when they ask me my age. What's 45 x 7?
And this year...... I am going to find out just exactly why people sing that song about old lame signs.

For old lame signs my dear,
for old lame signs,
We'll drink a cup of wine, my dear
for old lame signs.


HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!!

Susan Weaver @ allpoetry