i.
my body
emits its own temperature;
I'm so cold
covered in winter,
murdered by seasons
that run down my throat,
through nostrils and ears
and fill my skin
ii.
when spring finally emerges
around corners that frozen fingers
molded unwillingly into spheres
I become an ocean
ships and boat's bottoms
sink within me, sway to the rhythm
of my movements
sailors are always alone
for even they throw their emotions
overboard, as I slowly
overflow with the feelings
of others
iii.
summer fades in
on the tears that fall into me,
sadistically, as honorable hearts
return on docks, feet
dipping at the surface
of my thoughts
and just for a moment
it feels like progress
until they're swept away
by a breeze
that rolls off the stench
of bodies, dead
to society
iv.
as ancient oaks
bring themselves
closer to heaven
they dangle autumn limbs
and whisper different colors
onto my ever hungry waves
this is the only time
I feel some of everything there is
to feel,
so beautiful, lingering as skin,
before the coldness comes
and scares away
the art of being
Author notes
I feel lime time just fades on and on and on... so I've captured a whole year, trying to show, in retrospect, how the seasons ramble into one another, like the dull idea of trapping ourselves emotionally.
In a list
A contest entry
- Win $50, and be published in the next Allpoetry Book! by Kevin.
400 points, ended January 15, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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"I feel some of everything there is" - i am being picky, but i didn't particularly like the syntax here.
otherwise, i thought this was well controlled, and solid.
i really don't have any other criticism.
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Your not being picky. I will work on that phrase. Thanks for the comment.
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hey i didn't finish my comment but it posted it!
sweat of genitals i thought was kinda an... undesirable image ahaha
i lovelovelove the ending. this is so great
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"i become an ocean"
love that. i love the entire ii. actually
"feet dipping at the surface of my thoughts" --ooh another quotable line!
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thanks for the comment
ya, I am still working on fixing the genitals part... I just drew a mind blank at that part in finding an image to convey what I wanted.
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Wonderful progression of thought and application of metaphor here. I really liked this, especially the last vignette...autum: the season of leaf poetry. This is lovely.
~ Nicolette
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Wow~
Oh My Word~
What a piece You have penned with metaphors that grab beyond~
Love how You presented this also the images- with emotion-energy
Excellent~ You captured a whole year
with Brevity
These lines tug hard:
iv.
as ancient oaks
bring themselves
closer to heaven
Bravo!!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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I've seen you around
and I've been guilty of not adding you as a favorite 'til now.
"my body
emits its own temperature"
I found that insanely clever.
"sailors are always alone
for they even throw their emotions
overboard, as I slowly
overflow with the feelings
of others"
Holy damn.
That was my favorite part...although I think "for even they" sounds better than "for they even".
But seriously...
what a metaphor.
YOU'RE AMAZING.
Officially, undoubtedly, and indubitably.
;
Jessica
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*blushes* really, I am not that good
you are making me blush
but thank-you for your kind comment though
and thats a good suggestion - it flows much better
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..
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