Shadows of pelicans pass by . . . grazing the sand. A few footsteps disappear into the rays of the setting sun. Where we go ... what we do ... is it sensible?... does it make sense I suppose is the proper question? It seems many of us stare into sunsets with similar queries. Daydreamer . . . wanderer . . . I often melt into the orange and reds too.
autumn . . .
a whispering breeze and I
meander
Author notes
A haibun is a mix of diary style prose with a final haiku that pulls the poem together. The haiku doesn't work as necessarily as a summary but rather as an additional part of the imagery and/or story line.
In a list
A contest entry
- Win $50, and be published in the next Allpoetry Book! by Kevin.
400 points, ended January 15, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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You are an amazing photographer, and not only when using your camera, your pen shows the scenes you see in such a vivid way that is like looking at a picture.
Then your thoughts fill the borders, like a frame.
I've tried this form long ago, didn't like the result, should try it again, or better yet, should learn how to write it
Lovely haiku after wonderful prose
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excellent~
Now this sweetie is beautiful
I was lost adrift in your sea of words
I too have stared and wondered probably thought the same things you have thought.........tho I have never attempted to do a haibun about it
Pure perfection
A wonderful delight to read..........
Best of luck in the contest...
This is a winner in my book
Hugs
Susan~~~
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wow! a Halibun.... i might have to try this. As well as being beautiful it might also serve as some form of therapy (im an avid journaller)
Great Write as usual!
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Thanks! Yeah, it's a cool form... but highly under estimated. Weird, ya gotta write a freekin sonnet or a blank verse poem to be anything... yet this kind of poem is really difficult to write well... and after hundreds of years, still doesn't get the recognition it deserves. LOLL Funny... generations get stuck in their little small minded mindset... I tickled you want to write it too.... if you journal a lot... this will come natural... but there are lots of guidelines... maybe I can help you when you try. Take care... and thanks again for commenting.
Don
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wow...this is outstanding...I love the imagery and the deep feel of this piece. and the ending haiku at the end is perfect
another one of my favs!!!
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Thanks Catie.... Much appreciated!
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I got the vivid imagery here Don and it seems the tide is coming in as I read it. My thoughts wondered too if there aren't certain situations, like sunsets, that act as a sort of sponge for our thoughts gathered in the past day/week/month and serve as a processor for us - a clearinghouse of sorts and that's why, walking away, we feel so good.
I like the last word 'meandering' because often in meandering, we find our bearings.
Nicely felt.
Paul
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Thanks so much. I appreciate the great comment. I'm afraid not many folks appreciate the form of haibun so its really relieving to read your comment and how well you understand the concepts and inner workings of this write. I appreciate your sincerity and effort very much. Take care, friend.
Don
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