I'm tired of still loving you
Tired of hurting when our eyes meet
Of faking a smile when you're around
Ready to just leave the room and run
I'm angry for feeling this way,
And you're the only one who's made me this crazy.
I'm angry at you for saying I'm not good enough
And then proposing to her later that week.
I'm changing because of the love you gave me
And then the love you ripped away
Changing, who knows for better or worse
But it's happening none the less.
I'm putting my foot down, I'm ending this chapter
And putting away the pen with your name on it
My heart is no longer your plaything, not your toy anymore
So as I quit those infernal cancer-sticks I quit you
For I'm tired of playing the victim, your face
The only thing I can see at night,
The memories played out on the IMAX of my mind
So everytime I think of you, not so often anymore
I'll pick up a piece of gum, not a cigarette
And finally break away from you
The heartaches associated with you.
I'm changing from being tired and angry
I'm changing from being hurt and afraid
I'm changing from what you've caused in me
I'm changing to something I have made
I'm changing my mind to sweet revenge,
Where I can finally have my peace
I'm making myself change to be happy
And forever keep you out of reach
I'm taking that heartbreak and I'll learn from it
Learn the signs of men like you
Men who use, say they love, and abuse
And I'll get better, I'll find my own truth
I'll get along, better without you
And you'll only be worse off without me
Revenge is sweet, and in this, finding who I really am,
Finding my happiness without you,
Is the best way to get back at you:
Leaving you behind.
Author notes
It's been really hard, changing from a quivering mass of raw emotion, of insecurity, to finding a way to be happy with MYSELF, but I'm slowly getting there... And I find it's the most appropriate way to serve a big ol' slice of revenge pie. Being happy without him, knowing I'm better off now than I was with him.
Too bad, baby, you're missing out, and I'm just someone who doesn't crawl back. Not to you, not ever again. You left me, a villain, and now I'm moving on and leaving my pain slowly behind. I'll come out on top again, wait and see.
A name you would name your Gerbal: like Spartacus (umm... I'd prob name mine Octavian.. octavian augustus..)
A contest entry
- NEW YEAR QUICKIE!!!! BY ADEMON by Ademon.
550 points, ended January 2, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Better In Time by Barely Breathing.
800 points, ended March 1, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Thoughts and Feelings and Realizations by MysteriousWhisper.
400 points, ended April 20, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Hmmmish......
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Nice... taking a bad thing and using it to empower yourself. Good job!
If you got the "IMAX of my mind" line from the musical RENT, then you get +10 coolness points. If you made it up yourself, +15
Constructive criticism... maybe make the last stanza more of a release. You're kind of building up all this anger throughout the poem, and I'd let it out. Don't go overboard, but maybe use stronger words. -
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Yes, I DID steal that line from RENT. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that musical. I wish I could go see it on Broadway!
Thank you for the criticism. I'll see how I can tweak it, if I can. I honestly haven't even looked at this poem in forever
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very good. nice clear message.lots and lots of thoughts that were really hard to put to words i imagine. yet they seemed to just flow out when you wrote them. great job and good luck in the contest!
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This is such a great write. I could really feel the emotion in this. Well done and all the best for the contest.
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W00T!!!
That was full of emotion. Loved it. ^_^ Even though you broke up...
You'll find someone better (or something better to do during this moment of emotional rest).
So a thumbs up from me and many applaud smilies...
I hope you love them!
~Meli♥
P/s: *gives hug*
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haha Thanks Meli. Yeah, I came to the conclusion that he's just not worth thinking about, and he's been an arse since we broke up. Yesterday we talked and I just didn't feel anything anymore. It was nice. Now he's outta my life and I'm having a good time with a friend of mine. Life's better now.
Thanks for all the applause!
ellie
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WOW.......completely speechless...don't forget rule number 6....
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And thanks!
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Yeah I just remembered before I saw your comment. I just put it in there
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That's a great Gerbil name too! :-)
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