It was the perfect night
for a ride in your old, dented-up Chevy,
until you found a train to race.
Sound of its whistle
blew straight through me
as you drove between the crossing gates.
My heart quivered
like the speedometer needle
redlining- just past love,
and your lips were hotter
than your 454 manifold.
The city seems lonely
looking down from Bear Hill at night.
You told me all your fast ambitions
while drinking a fifth of Jack.
I watched the signal at Cross and Maine
turn from red to green,
and back to red,
avoiding your eyes,
but the moonlight was powdered sugar on my skin
and you were determined to taste it.
Not even the darkness was perfect.
I opened my eyes to the
red neon VACANCY sign
flashing across my face,
while you squeezed my hips and groaned.
Morning sun melted between us
like an orange creamsicle.
I watched your eyes
in reckless R.E.M. and knew
I’d never share your dreams.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
I really like where you took this.
-
There are so many fresh and vivid images in this! I love everything about it - what was said, how it was said and what was unsaid.
Best wishes in the contest.
-
enjoyed -
-
These one night stands are a bummer arn't they?
-
wow. killer ending. in my opinion anyway. the whole rem cycle thing.... and your last line. it hurts to feel that way. i liked the whole piece. you wrote it in a very attention grabbing way. i love poems that are like stories.... with little personal things. i loved your metaphors... the "Vacancy" metaphor... the redline one... liked the whole thing
congrats on the trophy
-
still a lingering dream.
intense emotions...and descriptions.
the last line stabs!
wow.
(i will be reading more) -
What a poem...what a indepth journey you took me on to Cross and Maine
Just stupendous..not a thing I can say but WOW! -
Dammmnnn. Happy New Year to you & yours, my Friend. Good luck in Carol's contest. 
-
Wow! well done lots of great pictures. Good luck to you. It's a winner!
~Mary O
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
