Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Eden Is Not Lost

Missing image

 

 

 

We spun ourselves

into this silken silence

of self-absorption,


entangled

in cocoons of quiet,

chaotic darkness -


cut off from the world

and the lost memories

of wings.



They remain hidden

in raw, tender cracks

and quivering chasms

 

of our scarred,

scared,

sacred hearts,


fluttering wildly,


secrets waiting

for release

as rain

from gathered cloudbanks,


for breath of wind

to guide us,

lift us up

from shivering soil

into dusky sky.


Stained glass turns liquid,

roiling and boiling across the horizon,

harvesting hope's healing,

hovering


while we dream
of the inevitable dance...


 

 

 

Author notes




Contest prompts:

Art: (top) "Sacred Sunset" by Karen Noles


"Just living isn't enough," said the butterfly,
"one must also have freedom, sunshine, and a little flower."
- Kahlil Gibran

~ * ~


Art: (bottom) "Butterfly Maiden" by Sharon Ge

In a list

A contest entry

Seek wisdom. Be open to the unknown.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • Jonathan ROBIN
    March 10
    Edit | Reply

    Chance Glance Dance

    Stained glass turns liquid, roiling and boiling across the horizon, harvesting hope's healing, hovering while we dream of the inevitable dance

    Chance Glance Dance where once askance
    night hemmed horizons in,
    Perchance advance, like ponies prance,
    know spin's win-win, no sin...


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    January 21

    Edit | Reply
    please note the skillful construction of this stanza which follows through most of your writing:

    We spun ourselves
    into this silken silence
    of self-absorption,

    the confluence of nouns with descriptors, 'spun' 'silken' (cocoon is used later) ... also 'self-absorption'

    notice the constant, unrelenting pace and alliteration to push it deeply into the dirt yet lift it away to the next step ... note the slant rhyming (each end word), note the combination of alliteration and inner rhyming at line 2 of all the words of that line ... action packed, but a remembrance, and softly put ... this is masterful and poetics at its very finest, for it does not boast of its cleverness and eloquence, but simply is what it is.

    take note all ye who tread here ... in this place writes a master.


    • Night Hope gold member
      January 21
      Edit | Reply
      I gotta admit &/or confess somethin' to ya, Scribe. Other people have also referred to my "slant rhyme & inner rhyme" in other poems, as well...Honestly ~ I don't see it/feel it/know how I do it, even if it IS in there. Must be the Muse dabblin' with my pen again...'cause I ain't clever. Nope. Not me. I'm ... ... blonde.


  • crisstiena
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    Oops... forgot the applesauce ...


  • crisstiena
    January 6

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this really is beautiful. And a fitting finale to 2008. I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry, because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? Just remember to slow down, live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the even the smallest place within your heart.

    Brava poetess!

    ~ crissy ♥

    PS. Your quote is also attributed to Hans Christian Anderson.


    • Night Hope gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply

      Now, see? 'Tis yet another reason I love you so, crissy. You know. I don't gotta s'plain nothin' to YOU, Lucy. Hell, yes. Dishes, laundry, dusting...why, there's Life goin' on out there, in here!!! I once said (at 18, I think): "I have far too many dreams to remain for long in the kitchen." As Carol Desjarlais always says to me..."I know. I know you know." Love you, Woman. What time shall we have our & burnt cookies, darlin' girl???

      P.S.

      "take a look around you whenever you have time"

      Don't wait. Do it now, anyway. One never HAS Time; Time has us...it shows no Mercy. It is indifferent to our wants & needs. It just IS. Miracles happen right in front of us every single day.


  • deercatcher
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    Ilike the balance of this piece- Of needs and needing to be needed
    The mistake of isolation that leads to shriveled soul trapped in silken shrouds of our own making

    It takes faithto re emerge and take flight

    I found out my sister asked her husband first for a ride to a gig playing in the FT worth symphony from Denton 39 years ago. It was the prairie sunset that he pulled over to watch with her that lit the flame in her heart


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    Oh stupendous...that fluttering within the heart....caught that well and deeply! As always, your words are rich and full of meanings a reader can relate to in every sense.


  • just rob gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply

    We spin in circles

    held up by mother drum
    that sponsor of tide
    and dance in circles, spun
    like dynamos, beneath
    a dying sun
    but rising high
    into the filth that we
    have spewed
    we sing yet, songs of peace
    that our daughters
    may be released
    to fly again
    as a new day dawns
    a new life has begun
    beneath a forgiving sun


  • EvilKate
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my - so very resonant - and almost as beautiful as the author


  • DogFish silver member
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    I read Genesis chapter one this morning ( a positive note for the new year dawning)...your poem is a sweet cherry on top of a very nice day!


  • Swan song gold member
    January 1
    Edit | Reply
    I think I found my winner in this contest!!!!
    This was an enjoyable read!

  • BHolzner gold member
    January 1

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    Generation after generation we have lost our ways in the modern world, "We spun ourselves into this silken silence of self-absorption,
    entangled in cocoons of quiet, chaotic darkness -"
    It is time that we listen to nature that can cause change to grow in our hearts and minds. It is time that we follow our heritages and listen to elders that can carry forth the words of wisdom. Then and only then can man survive the next decade.
    Bravo!
    betsy holzner

  • mimiagatha
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    nothing’s lost enough not to be found, when the mind accepts to look there in those cracks and in that chaos, turning heralder of the beauty to rise tomorrow. outstanding poetry, imagery, imagination, and that feather’s touch portending of the dance to come...


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is so very beautiful, Vlindertjie and so very appropriate for this time of year with its old and new dreams. And now that I've heard your voice I can truly say that I understand why you are able to write as beautifully and as elegantly as you do, my friend.

    I wish you a dance.... the dance!!



    ~ Nicolette


  • Jonathan ROBIN
    January 1

    Edit | Reply

    harvesting hope's healing

    Those who await "the inevitable dance" can but find harmony and happiness in harvesting night hope's heavenly healing ...


  • Sonja
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    We all strive for something more than a simple life, whatever simple supposed to be. I think that we all have this special possibilities but mostly we don't see it, or we are waiting under umbrella, afraid of rain. As you perfectly said:
    ~
    secrets waiting
    for release
    as rain
    from gathered cloudbanks,
    for breath of wind
    to guide us,
    ~
    ... and all what follows is perfect.
    The usage of stained glass makes me to shiver because I like them so much.
    This is a perfect spiritual poem.
    ~Sonja~


  • kaibab silver member
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    The inevitable dance...such a rush to blood to emlt
    when eyes open wide to the new year sunrise...did some more skiing yesterday, I did...both outer and inner mountains...lovely scribe of hope to heal


  • arafura gold member
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully penned as I would expect from you. You take us all into a different world with your words of magic. Bravo!


  • Danna Hobart
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    of our scarred,
    scared,
    sacred hearts,

    I loved what you did with these words.

    You are so talented my friend. This is one of your best. The images are so clear.

    Happy new year to you!


  • transcendental baby gold member
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful celebration for the new year on ... a song of the spirit and its will to rise and become one with the breath of life. This is magic stuff here that sings and soars

    Happy New Year Wander Woman!!!!

  • vertigo beat
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    -of our scarred, scared, sacred hearts,
    how about breaking those up into individual lines instead of on full line? i dunno. maybe.

    nice diction. i preferred the beginning more so.

  • Lord Gegishov
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Absolutely enchanitng!

    This is a truly wonderful poem, dear Night Hope. All of your poetry moves the heart, and tugs at the imagination. Your words constantly enthrall us all. Excellent work! I wish you the best.


  • tomisb
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In the alliterative verse you capture the struggle of our souls to rise above the mundane and the psychological and be -- both -- more permanent and sacred. Special is for the ears on daddy's knees and is wonderful for memories but nothing to feed upon when the wonder of being alive has to contend with bills, entertainment, lonliness, relationships (all the ones that penitrate us, rudely, as we go through the day from clerks to bosses), all the stuff that never fills the place that needs filling. Your wings -- for some of us only moth wings, others the soaring cloth of angels. When I finish in the last alliterative rush -- my tongue sated with words -- I wonder at the vibrance of you. Life is tough. It makes us deeper and rich and more full of love or we are just dried beans waiting for a stew on the back of God's stove.
    Love,
    Tom B.

  • Eusebius
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Like liquid gold! It flows hypnotically... I was totally enchanted and enthralled! Superb! I loved it, loved it, loved it!


  • dame de la riviere
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem, from a beautiful mind.


  • klassy lassy
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ...and so love moves in unison as we become part of harmony and grace of a universal heart beat. We paint the colors and the music within, and release wings from our palms to explore and soar the wonder.

    This is definitely vlindertje, soft-winged beauty and power.


  • Maureen silver member
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Your poetic talent shines in this meaningful poem, Wanda!

    Best Wishes for 2009! May your muse continue to provide you with the right words at the right time.

    Happy New Year!
    Maureen


  • Mad Moon silver member
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Imagery in this is vivid! So much beautiful alliteration, too. I adore both the voice and language in this. But; I have to say that these lines just set in my soul: ...Stained glass turns liquid, roiling and boiling across the horizon,.... Not only the vision it creates, but the movement, as well. Creatively exceptional, dear one. Love this, and you.


  • divebar
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • just mercedes gold member
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the line 'stained glass turns liquid' - such wonderful imagery throughout the poem, but that line resonates for me!

    Have a wonderful year in 2009, Wanda.

1 - 33 of 33