Don't think where I'm going
Just dive off the edge
Free falling through the air
I spread my wings to fly
Parachute opens
Pulling me back up
Ending the adrenaline
Screaming with joy
Over the edge
Just where I've been
A contest entry
- To Live ~ Or To REALLY Live by CarolDesjarlais.
900 points, ended January 3, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Oh, this poem has such great potential.... what was the FEELING jsut before the dive...what was it like falling falling? What coudl be the metaphor for you open your wings? Rather than a parachuite, how could you have expressed a parachute? What was the pull-back like? You screamed like what?
Ty for entering and thought jsut to give you soem questions to thnk about to make the poem speak for itself and show your reader how to feel. -
short but good
Perfect wording. I felt like I was there & I'm afraid of heights. -
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thank you
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