I stand near the banister for support
The feeling of being on life support scares me
My eyes r red with days of crying
can't find the true meaning of life
how many hours,minutes, seconds do i have ?
will i see my future husband tomorrow ?
Will my eye lid open ?
All these questions flutter in my mind
Are they riddle for me to solve.....
Is this a cruel fate ...
a voice inside me whispers and smile spread wide on my face
the new morning brings a new day.
to live every moment of it ...is what counts to LIVE !
A contest entry
- To Live ~ Or To REALLY Live by CarolDesjarlais.
900 points, ended January 3, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
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Thank you for entering. Part of writing free verse is to show not tell, watch that you do not force the reader to your own conclusions about meaning, abruptly....dance around your meanings without actually saying it.
There are a few typos, and dischordant words in the poem, but as you write and read more, you will catch on. Watch your title Live counts? or Life Counts?
Keep on poeting!
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thank you but i did recheck it
anyway thanx -
add an s to question in this sentence: All these question flutter in my mind
add ? marks at end of these: Are they riddle for me to solve.....
Is this a cruel fate ...
add s to hour, minute, second here:how many hour,min, second do i have
otherwise good emotion and good write
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