a pair of legs
where there
was
no water to be found.
The feeling of water touching the skin could not be felt
The pain of agony could not be taken as everything was broken
As there is no water to feel
The heated dessert is no match with the water
The helpless feet have no nerves to endure
As there is no water to feel
The naked legs are up hold with fear for water isn't the need they feel
The dream is just beginning as there faith is for watery feeling
A contest entry
- rather be dead than cool by notorious.
912 points, ended January 16, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
-
I found the stanza placement and writing in general to be kind of awkward.
-
to be honest this was the first one i wrote when i entered
totally confused and just bashed up stupid things cudnt get the hang of it but tried ...
-
Right now, your third stanza implies that microwaved desserts are evaporating water. It's very silly, but I imagine that was not what you were going for.
It's a good idea to spell check before you enter a contest.
Good luck.
Adding your comment:
