Sun light scarcely dances across their bed
breaking through the curtains hanging tall
the smell of love making lingers in the air
holding one another, embracing the others soul
delicately caressing soft silky hair
their love is unfathomable for the other
their passion burns for eternity
no longer two, they became one
emotionally, mentally, physically
they are complete...
Author notes
Option #2--http://photoscot.deviantart.com/art/NataliaKaylee-Bedroom-680-58597713
A contest entry
- Adult Quickie! by Sweet Impatience.
1200 points, ended December 31, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is one thing that stood out in this poem?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I couldn't get to the pic, but your poem is so vivid and... wow. There's such passion and power here. But for me this was the best line: 'their love is unfathomable for the other'
Just perfect. Another triumph!
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Aww great poem.
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Blissful afterglow! I know this feeling...this is beautiful how you have captured this moment. For being new in writting in the area of work you have a passion about it. Simply beautiful! xoxo Miranda
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Oh my I can feel this one, it's deep and sensual, again I think spacing would just enhance this. Because it's short doesn't mean you can't draw this sensual breath out to give us time to pause and visualise lol and it is a visual thing when you write sensuality. Nice job hun
C
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This was so beautiful! and good lord very sensual.. You have a talent for that kind of write me thinks
really loved the imagery.. kind of made the reader sigh.. truly wonderful write..Angel
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This was a pleasant read. Thank you for sharing! I can appreciate what you have wrote here. I have went to these depths before & that was great. ~~Iridessa~~
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Well done dear friend!!!
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Soft and sensual this is bro,
and you did really well considering it was only your second of this type.
Bravo!!!
Ken
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Great write my friend. You have really hit on something with this one. Keep going!
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this poem is very sensual & soft, beautiful imagery throughout this excellent piece.
good luck
kat
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You truely own this piece... the smell of love making lingers in the air
holding one another, embracing the others soul... Very vivd description denoting lust and love combined to form unity...
Such a short pen to speak so loudly...
love, becca
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Now that is an excellent take on the image. Very intense in the passion held, sophisticated and certainly well spoken. A very nice piece, best wishes in the contest!
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Very well done!
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Another notch, as my buddy Emeril would say! Great direction, enjoyed it~ G
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emotionally, mentally, physically
they are complete...
absolutely brilliant. this is so far my favorite. good luck to you darling.
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Very beautiful.
A sensual write filled with emotion and passion.
Very well done.
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Very nice...
Good luck with the cmp
Simon
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This is awesome my friend!
I love the last five lines of this one.
Beautiful work here and I hope that
you do well with it in this contest!
Thanks a lot for sharing it here and
all the best to you!
Jeremy0826
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Thank you Jeremy...This is my second "adult" write ...
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You're welcome!
It's great to read you again.
Take care!
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