I have felt the warmth of her hand
the love of her heart, the tears
I have held her tightly
as she took her last breath, before me
I have shed uncontrollable ragging tears
I have cursed the God, that created me
I have given my heart, my soul
I have been utterly destroyed
Yet I have found hope
I have been made whole
My heart has mended, Love
has cured the brokenness with compassion
I am more than you will ever know
something amazing to those who care
and something great to those who believe
I am more than I ever knew
don't tell me what I've felt
don't tell me what I've seen
don't tell me if I've loved
don't tell me if I've had loss
My life has been filled with pain
Filled with heartache, filled with shame
don't tell me what I have or haven't
You will never know...
Author notes
Option #1: Make me feel your pain. If there is something you're going through, and feel the need to get it out in poetry, go right ahead. Please make it something actually serious though. I dont want to hear about how your cat has fleas (unless you can make it funny, and tasteful) or how your 11 years old, and the love of your life left you.
(I saw your contest and thought this was perfect, earlier today I had someone leave a "slap in the face" type of comment on one of my poems about being in love...
"this is a nice piece of poetry, but i can also tell you've never been in love, it lacked a sense of loss... the loss u feel when u either give ur heart to someone, or the loss of loosing that person.
this is a fantastic and beautiful piece.
thanks for entering"
I have been in love, I have lost, I have had my heart ripped to shreds, I have found hope...This poem is basically a response to that...it's my pain and my thoughts that are bottled up and how much she really pissed me off from her comment....
RULE # 4---- Spartacus
A contest entry
- Random Options by Shrat.
700 points, ended January 1, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is one thing that stood out in this poem?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Okay, I will try to tread carefully around the criticism I have for this piece.
I really enjoyed reading it, and you made the reader feel your pain. YOu made this wonderfully believeable.
But as to the contest, maybe I'm just plain oblivious, and correct me if you feel the need, but I only found a scrap of rhyme in this piece. You did well without rhyme, but it was one of my rules. It is very good, but I can't gaurantee it will do as well in the contest as it would have with a little rhyme, but then again, rhyme might compromise the great material you have here. Great job anyway though!!
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DEEP EMOTION!!!!
One does have many things happen to them throughout life
And each time they learn a little bit more. 
's
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You did so well on this bro,
a sad and touching write indeed
I wish you all the best in times ahead
Ken
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Amazing piece that you have penned here!
It's so true that we should never judge or tell anyone how they feel or that we know what they are going through in their lives. There is always so
much more that is lurking deep within. A world
of emotions and utter confusion that we could
never even fathom. Beautiful thought here my friend and all the best to you in this contest!
Jeremy0826 -
Awesome write !!!!
Your emotion is expressed with such passion and power.
Beautifully done.
Excellent !!!
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amazing piece! i can feel your loss and the love for yourself that has emerged from turmoil. It seems as though through this, you have become the victor through your poetry... it has touched my heart, and i am so glad that through adversity and regrowth that you realize your own self worth..!
superb!!!
a true shiney for sure...! bravo...
becca
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