Neural immolation
catapults boulders at my abscessed throat,
but the great wall resists, unyielding.
Tadpoles from hell
viciously thrash
against silence, the hymen
so thick it could choke the stars.
Three words, a creeping barrage,
plow into my fortress
like a diamond-studded battering-ram,
and iron lips finally crumble
in the ultimate surrender.
Disembodied voices
ooze through cracks in my granite heart
to paint the walls in tangerine;
foreign syllables expectorated
from my swollen tongue,
my own mouth's betrayal
leaving me aghast.
Author notes
This is how it felt the first time I ever said, "I love you".
The significance of "epilogue" in the title... My first entry in the challenge was free-verse and called "PRELUDE to a suicide", so I found it fitting that both freeverse-poems be commemorated in titling; it connects the beginning and the end.
For the Poetic Challenge finals:
My weakest poem in the challenge thus far was this one.
The kyrielle-sonnet from Round 2 was my first attempt at form-poetry (and lighter themes) in quite a long time, so the writing was as I felt; shaky and lacking in confidence. The restrictions were so rigid that I don't feel the emotional value of the work shone through as it should have.
Ironically, my strongest piece in the challenge was this one.
The sestina from Round 3 has to be my personal best, though I nearly fried my brains trying to decipher Shadowpoetry's explanation of the form 
Even though a sestina is very ordered, the constraints were much-less strict, and I felt a bit more comfortable not having to worry about syllable-counts or rhyming. It didn't feel cheesy or forced, and it came much more naturally than the kyrielle, which I felt was a little too much 'trying to please the English-teacher' for my own taste. The picture was amazing as well!
I feel that I deserve to win the Poetic Challenge because, though form-poetry is not my forte at all, I still managed to hold my own against some incredibly-talented veterans throughout the contest. I've been consistent, never placing below 2nd, and have always made the deadlines. Regardless of the outcome, it's been a pleasure, and I've learned a lot from this competition. I am honoured to have worked with each and every one of you.
Thank you to the judges for having me, and best of luck to both Lexie and David in whatever lies ahead 
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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My oh My!
Your choice of words here...floors me! Wow!
You make some very powerful images and emotions pour forth...leaving a wonder and astonishment to this reader!
It's a hard thing to give in huh? I could feel the resistance as well as the painful resolution to give up. Great write!
Bravo!
Justified Inc.
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this is great.
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Your word usage is simply amazing
Such depth within each line, all the emotions and the word's painted imagery
A fantastic piece -
okay okay soooo... favorite lines!
"Disembodied voices
ooze through cracks in my granite heart
to paint the walls in tangerine"
its a BEAUTIFUL mental image. thanks for entering! -
oh my. I must say that this is one of the best I have read in a very long time Your wording is superb... you speak metaphoric language as if it is your first language I must disagree with Bear about the cliche wording... there is nothing at all cliche about this poem. I love it. I adore your answers in your AN! As the poem you selected for your weakest, I felt it may have been a "Weaker" one for you and your talent... but it could hold against many that have been competing in this challenge. The poem you selected as your strongest, I felt was not the one that showcased all your abilities to the fullest... but blew me away when I first read it, and again now! Well done trhroughout this challenge. I look forward to reading you more in the future! I also appreciate your patience, this season has been very difficult for me, and feel horrible for all the delays. IT is not like me, but with a new baby, I never have enough time
Thank you for sharing all of ur talent with us this season. I would love to have you as a judge
Let me know!
MEl
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Wonderful vocab here. A very passionate and emotive write that leaves a big impact on readers. Thanks for entering my contest
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Excellent
Excellent use of diction and imagery, I don't know the challenge but this got my attention -
Hello Laura ~
I agree with your AN's.....I agree you have held your own when it comes to Forms....but a Challenge...is a Challlenege....is a Challenge, no matter what your task is.....but I do applaud your strength in something not common place to your quill ~
For this entry.....you absolutely had me tied up and making me listen from the first few words..>>>
Neural immolation
catapults boulders at my abscessed throat,
but the great wall resists, unyielding.Genius!!
However.....then, you threw this at me..>>>
so thick it could choke the stars.
....yikes!
That was about as cliche' as it gets.....and from you, quite disappointing to allow one single L to go by my brain without capturing my FULL attention -
Check this out...>>>
****like a diamond-studded battering-ram,
and iron lips finally crumble
****I suggest removing *like* & *and*....not needed and took away from the Poetic beauty....IMHO -
So now, you'd have this..>>>>
Three words, a creeping barrage,
plow into my fortress
a diamond-studded battering-ram,
iron lips finally crumble
in the ultimate surrender.
....do you see the difference?
This here..>>>>
Disembodied voices
ooze through cracks in my granite heart
to paint the walls in tangerine;....take out *to* and add (ing) to paint......because you have present tense of *ooze through cracks in my granite heart......to paint the walls in tangerine*......make sense?
So now you'd have.>>>>
Disembodied voices
ooze through cracks in my granite heart
painting the walls in tangerine;
Sound better?
.....and then, you wrap it all up with this..>>>
foreign syllables expectorated
from my swollen tongue,
my own mouth's betrayal
...Bravo!
Ya know, the ting I enjoy most about your work, is your ability to work hard, and taking great pride in what you do.....not to say the other Poets do not, but I always see a Huge difference in your work vs the others on AP -
You manage to break out of the box and bring me grammar which makes me sloooow down and think about what you are trying to say....and when I do figure it out, I am usually thinking....wow, nice job!!
This is a fabulous write and I believe you and Lexie are going to be oh so close in scores....either way, you have Gold in my heart......good luck & God bless you!
Bear ~
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Wow, such a fantastic write, the imagery is so unique..beautifully penned! I have really enjoyed each entry from you, you have a very impressive and powerful way with words. This challenge has not been an easy one, you have had some very hard forms thrown your way. You did an excellent job with every one of them. Its been a real pleasure to read you over the last few months.
As for this write, again I have nothing to critique here, wow this jobs been real easy
Simply put an outstanding piece.
I wish you the very best of luck, scores will be sent to Mel.
Pink
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First off let me say that you always seem to impress me, no matter what it is of yours that I am reading. Throughout this challenge you have taken EVERY challenge that was given to you and come out with something that not only seems to fit the bill but also seems to pull your reader in and leave a lasting impression. I am grateful to have been able to read and critique your work.
With that all being said, I see nothing here that needs critiquing as you have an outstanding final entry. Personaly, I loved how you linked the beginning entry and final entry together (PRELUDE and epilogue) very clever as it seems fitting to do so as well.
I will not leave a score here but for this final round will send my scores to Mel upon completion of the round.
Best of luck in this final round Laura.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
wow
You were quick off the mark, this is a wonderful, deep and well thought out piece,
i wish you luck in this final round, God bless
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