Usually all the family go to bed before midnight
the central heating is set to high for tomorrow
The lamp is partially dimmed and the lights of
a pine tree shine multi-coloured bright lights
The carpet is hoovered, and the pine fresh dust
is sprinkled all over the carpet to give a nice wiff
the dog huddles under the pines of a tree's musk
sometimes he munches on the packaging.
Christmas day comes about with silence
not even the floor boards creek, the presents
awaiting everybody are abundant and wrapped
and the happiness of the family is peaceful
Soon everybody will be dressed in the uniform
of Christmas: New slippers, new clothes, new
socks, new smellies, paper hats, plastic jewellery
armed with little pieces of paper declaring jokes.
On the television everyone sits united watching,
laughing and smiling, taking photographs,
drinking and answering the phone calls
Congratulating each others existence
A contest entry
- Christmas by Darc Soul 69.
700 points, ended January 6, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Christmas
Comments
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I like the addition of little joking papers and would love to incorporate that into our tradition in the future. This gave a good sense of your home and I love the title of a Manx Christmas. Good work. Happy New Year and congrats on your existence.
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I loved this poem just the way that it was written as it was written from within you and I see no reason as to why you should change anything, tho suggestion's from other's are helpful all that you are being told is to how they would have written it if they had done so but this is your own unique piece and I love all about it. I thank you for sharing this experience with me and best of luck to you in the contest.
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Mmm, maybe morning instead of tomorrow, maybe aroma/odour instead of wiff but maybe not, I found this to be a pleasure to read. Christmas is a sad time for me but reading this temporarily took me to an ambient atmosphere of jollification and appreciation. Thanks for the Manx Christmas!
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