This will be fast.
I hope I don’t mess up.
Cut the vain,
Get the poison out,
Clean up,
All done.
Get the razor.
Don’t push to hard.
Okay were in.
Blood everywhere.
No time left.
Say goodbye.
It stopped.
Wake up.
Clean up quick,
Bandage up.
Don’t wanna show.
Fall asleep,
Dream of pain.
Wake up.
Do it again.
Seven second surgery
To remove the pain.
Author notes
Ap name- Zannah
Im not really sure if this is what you were looking for but I wanted to try something new. I usually dont write like this so I hope you like it.
- To Write Love On Her Arms group list • next in list
A contest entry
- 75 Titles To Choose From[Prewrites Allowed Now] by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 10, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR by Swan song.
1300 points, ended January 16, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark. Emotional. Depression. [Cutting and Gore Too] by BrokenHeartsInVain.
647 points, ended March 21, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you like the new style I tried?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This is a pretty good poem. The only suggestion I'd give, would be to give a little more imagery.
Thank you for entering, and good luck in the contest. -
Wow, although this was shorter than I thought it was going to be it read well. It flowed nicely and painted a vivid image in my mind. Great write!
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Hmm i liked this poem. It was very short and to the point. It had some good images with it and ic ould tell you put some real effort into it. Thank you for entering this into my contest and sharing it with me. Best of luck
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Like previously stated,
good imagery
this is a good piece -
great job.
its real intense.
awesome write -
Good job, you naughty-ish little red-headed talented girl, you.
Love you, sweetie.
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I like where you went with this, but I was looking for some thing deeper. Why does she cut herself or himself to feel good. What happened, what is going on inside the mind.
Blood everywhere to me paints a picture but I think you should get creative with it, rose rivulates dripping down my arm in a warm flow of needed satisfaction.
You basics are good, now think outside the box!!!
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Amazing.
Thats Good Hannah. I Like It. -
That was amazing!
Excellent job
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Wow! This is really good! I love it. great job!
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An interestig piece on an original topic. Made me wince a little.
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wow thats ... great you are a gifted writer in any form or thought or feeling its great keep up the good work
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Oh my, Hannah... I don't even know what to say. I need to know: Are you seeing a counselor? Talking to anyone?
Do you know why you do it?
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Thanks for the concern but i only wrote this for a contest.
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strong imagery
and you can almost feel the pain in it -
It's interesting and to me it seems as though there is a deeper metaphor to this poem. I enjoyed it.
BC.
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