Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

A Cast of Time

Missing image

We see though,
often misunderstand.
Visions given,

by unknown command.

 

Preordained.

a cast of time.

The human condition's

web sublime.


Actions prescribed,

wrongly viewed
serve, to pervert
the path ensued.

 

By false winds
oft we are driven.

Leave us again

unforgiven.

 

Walk neigh with me

soft by Owl-light.
Twixt the realms

in souls delight.

 

Come,take a closer look.
You learn by action not from a book.
Closer now,what? What do you see............



me reflected in part by thee?????

 

Author notes

John Jarvis artist, reworked ending haygood this was supposed to be in Ocean blues contest but \i screwed up and it just got added as a oien

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Dark Otter
    January 2
    Edit | Reply

    Unusual format

    that you make work very well for you. It was again worth two reads. Your learning curve amazes me!

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was a great write thanks for sharing best wishes always be well.


  • oceanbluize
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write as always dear. The ending is sublime and pulls it all together..."you learn by action not from a book"
    I love that line!!
    Thank you and best of luck!
    Ocean.


  • Skybow silver member
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful poem, I saw the last lines as the hook. The reading of this was a delight.

    • Draig aine gold member
      December 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      My humble thanks

      ah the hook, it is always there

      love you


  • Haygood gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Good rhyme and flow...

    (sorry) untill the last two stanzas. You got off your meter you started with. The rest of it was great.


    • Draig aine gold member
      December 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      ah yes

      that was intentional, I do not like to fit in boxes, the last two stanzas are a seconf part of the write, I should find away to make that clearer tha nks you


  • Mariana gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful. Well done Sis!

    Mariana


    • Draig aine gold member
      December 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      My humble thanks

      what a great picture to work with, loved the photo, it wrote the poem, not sure about the rhyming though, feeling better today


  • Swan song gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It is difficult to make a rhuymed poem with such short lines make as much sense and convey itself effective but you did that here.

    • Draig aine gold member
      December 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      hmm

      Oh I just lucked out, and the picture is awesome

1 - 13 of 13