I walk at dawn on a winter's day,
breathe crisp artic air
Rub my frozen fingers
Watch shadows everywhere
Expectation moves me,
to view a radiant dawn
with labor trod through knee deep snow
Not knowing the way too long
At last I could see a cool dawn light
then watch it grow pink and warm
rises to touch the pathway
caressing my cold stiff form
Luminous shadows arc and blend
Lavender, to gold pink rays,
push aside the frosty air
at dawn on a winter's day
Author notes
I chose option 3 to write a nature poem........
Pic found at...www.scottishpainting.co.uk
A contest entry
- Lots of Options! by Abnormal.
550 points, ended January 17, 2009, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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I can see this now.
I can see you as you go for a walk, and it is still chilly here. Yesterday we did a stew for Relay For Life and it was very successful. You did a beautiful job on this poem.
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the imagery in this is wonderful. thank you for sharing this with me today and i congratulate you on the bronze trophy you have earned with this write. looking forward to reading more form you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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beautiful imagery, and great flow! love the concept.
"At last I could see a cool dawn light
then watch it grow pink and warm"
lovely. Bravo! Good Luck in the contest
♥ Kathraina
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The colors of dawn---a great capture, Susan!
M-C
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Stimulating
I can feel the cold on my trip through this read. Great job. Don
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Very nicely done, Sis! I just watched time-lapse photography of the sun rising. It was awesome!
Best of Luck in this contest!
Love Ya!
♥ Maureen
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There are some nice images in this. Line 3, stanza one doesn't seem to fit. Perhaps something like this:
I walk at dawn on winter's day,
breath crisp artic air.
Rub my frozen fingers;
watch shadows everywhere.
Expectation moves me
to view a radiant dawn.
With labor trod through knee deep snow,
not knowing the way was long.
At last I see a cool dawn light,
watch it grow pink and warm.
Rises to touch the pathway,
caressing my cold stiff form.
Luminous shadows arc and blend
lavender to gold pink rays,
Push aside the frosty air
at dawn on a winter's day.
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A wonderful write, I loved the terms crisp and frosty air, I could almost feel the bitter cold.
Well Done....Best wishes in the contest
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soothing read sis, love the imingery, thank you for sharing
good luck
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sis, IO absolutely love this poem. It is perfectly metered and rhymed. It was so refreshing to read, and made me feel alive again. Hope you win!
Love you,
Sis xo
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I love the whole concept
I walk at dawn on a winter's day,
breathing crisp artic air along the way.
This is just a thought I had - respectfully yours,
Cheryl
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I really do like this. The imagery is superb and the flow is so graceful. Very nicely done and love the pic.....
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Precious~
Oh My Sis this is a Beauty~ Love the approach You took this prompt- Grabs and tugs at the Mind
Wonderful weaving of images
Yessssss
Just Lovely
You took the picture to a whole new level
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Just returned from 9 days in the snow and you have it right, good Sis. Lovely writing that feels like the cold.
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Wonderful poem. Good luck!!!
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Excellent
Another fantastic write. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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Susan, I think you have created a beautiful imagery filled poem. Your words go great with the picture. I wish I could write like this sis. I don't see anything wrong with it.
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Beautiful
Well written and filled with chilly imagery.. yuou can just feel the breeze of this blustry day as you walk against the wind.
Great job!!!!!!
*Go with God* sweet sis,
Valerie
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Sounds beautiful to me, Susan. I could see it vividly. The knee deep snow made me feel a little cold
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a wonderful poem your imagery and rhymeing is bbrilliant good luck inthe contest thank you for sharingmaralisa
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Excellent! The rhyming was perfect, not sounding forced, the wording fits and the imagery just pulls everything together. Nice! Thanks and good luck!
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