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The Leaves Changed

Look here----->
  I wish you could see it.

The leaves are green
once again and only
you and I know what that means .

The long goodbyes begin and the kisses
----> end.

It began with that first glance from that day at the warf.
You took the first---->
S
t
e
p

D
o
w
n
off that boat and that was end of it.

It was the first time you'd seen snow. The first real blizzard of the year.
Here in this small place you call a town.

You fell in love with something that day.
I thought it was the snow.
That's what you told me at least.

There was that small smile that guys have when there being sneaky.
I knew he was trouble.
But that's the thing.
Who can say no to trouble?

--------That's when I fell in love with you.
{How cliche} I know.
But really that was the day you began to love me.-------


I didn't know why you came here.
The stores were run down, Small,
and the biggest place around here
was Walmart.


I showed him my favorite place in this "town"
        The forest where everything changes,

                      things lived and died there.


We use to sit on this tree branch

              that had fallen when I was a child.

He would grab the small of my back lean down and stare at me.
One day he whispered in my ear.
                             ---I know you're hiding something.----

I smiled.
Told him that he was crazy.
                             No one has to know.
                                   That. He. Was. Right.

 

                       {Thats where the trouble came in}


                      

   The leaves are green once again
            Only I
               Knew what that meant.

That's the day you found out what I did.
The day I took the one most selfish act you could ever do.

The long goodbyes ended,
and the kisses stopped.

                                             <-------Look here
                                                                 I wish you could have seen it---->

Author notes

This isn't real.

I just recently read a book and was inspired by it.
It doesn't have to do with me.
Its fiction.

Tell me what you think.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • very good poem...I think it might need to be cleaned up just a bit as far as the physical look of it. I'm not sure that all of the breaks are needed but some of them I like. Other than that, good write! Thank you for your entry and good luck!

  • wow. i totally loved. i loved the way you described things, the easy flow, the format. holy crap.
    two questions, A, what was she doing? and B, what was the book???????
    (i love to read). thank you sooooo much for entering!!!!

  • woah that was the longest dirty pretty poem I've ever read lol. Thank you for entering


  • nobodys-girl
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    wow very good especially since it was inspired but a book. i loved reading it. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck.

  • Dearie this blows me away.
    Its your best so far.
    I WANT MORE BITCH.

    when i read it, it feels so peaceful and just flows down the page. anybody who says this isn't great has a serious issue.

    beautiful.


  • owlish
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is really beautifully awesome. The form is great, complements the piece well.

    "The leaves are green once again/Only I/Knew what that meant."

    "Look here----->
    I wish you could see it."

    So many great parts I could quote. Just one thing: In this part:

    "---I know your hiding something.----"

    You should do 'you're' instead of 'your.' Otherwise, I think this is flawless and absolutely amazing.


  • LilEmoPrincess
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Its an intriging poem..and sound sliek a good book! Well done

1 - 7 of 7