early morning always left
a face of hope
in the sunrise
while night
ran down my throat
and choked-out
all pleasant dreams
but dusk
was worst of all,
when change grew deeper
in the sky, spreading itself like butter;
as insanity covered oceanic
eyes, just wanting to watch
the beauty of nature
and how it grew like people do
A contest entry
- short by Melissa Gayle.
600 points, ended December 31, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Haha... I used this poem for a class on Storywrite. I hope you don't mind. I just needed to analyze a poem, and this one really stood out. Good job Ryan, and keep it up.
-
This is an amazing poem, Ryno
It fills the mind with images of passing time. I think my favorite part is the first stanza. They're all beautiful but this one reflects hope, a time to rejoice in a new beginning. It's actually how I feel each morning upon opening my eyes, the pleasure of life.
The rest of the poem expresses so much of what the days come down to, the gradual fading of life.
An excellent piece
Dee
-
-
Thank-you so much for your kind comment. I am glad you enjoyed.
-
-
...there is nothing to say.
(how can one describe a poem describing something so pefectly, honestly?)
you've brought up idaes ive never thought of in my life...
and how it grew like people do.
wow.
...one could grow from just reading seomthing like this.
-
Aaaaaaaaaaaw~
Oh My Word- what a banquet of images You have presented
Love the lines~
while night
ran down my throat
and choked-out
all pleasant dreams
Wowzers~ those are some images
I'm still working hard on Brevity
Thankies for the Inspiration~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
-
pretty much amazing
-
Wow this is very good write, i loved it. Well done.
-
Not sure about the 'but' on the 'but dusk' line -
otherwise, excellent thoughts.
-
love the ending!
-
do i have to say anything?
genius!!!!! ^-^
-
This is gorgeous. Every line is flawless and full of glory. I love this.
I had not read this before I entered my poem in this contest, and ironically we have the same image of the concept of time going down the throat. I hope Melissa doesn't notice?
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
