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on shore



i can still feel
the extra blue vein
on your forearm.

Your child is now rainfall

I imagine a crow eating
that last vein
until it pulsates
and hurts.

It will fluster and die,

its ashes
becoming snowflakes

 

where you will finally feel
the sound
of a baby kissing its mother's eyes
for the first time.

 

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • chilali
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    A stunning write for sure! Congratulations on the Silver!

    Much love
    Ylova

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It begins awkward (not in the wording, I simply mean the emotion itself) but transforms into this stunning jewel.


  • autarky
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this poem is more of a home to me than my house has ever been.


  • chloris
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND THIS, did you fucking know?


    welcome back darling?


  • notorious gold member
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "still feel"
    Impact much.
    That 'still' changed that first line completely for me.

    "I imagine a crow eating
    that last vein"
    That was imagery to the most kickery extent of the ass. Crows always make me think of messengers. Or the telephone poles they land on.

    "for the first time."
    Yesyesyes.

    ;
    Jessica

  • vertigo beat
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    genius.


  • gypsy camp
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • divebar
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is fucking great. a little messy, but really strong.

1 - 9 of 9