Thou art an angel wrapped in precious stones,
more valuable than all the world's sweet sin;
thou art a diamond in both flesh and bone,
and shine as though all heaven was within.
Thy skin of sterling silver shines as stars;
as though thy purpose was to fight the night
that wraps a noose around these hearts of ours;
to cloak all pain with gaity and light.
To hoard thee in my heart would be so cruel;
this heart is onyx, drinking in all light,
forever hungry, draining this jewel,
all radiance, all hopes and dreams and light.
I drop thee from my arms and prithee, flee!
A testament of all my love for thee.
--
Sonnet 44
Author notes
Sonnet 44
Inspired by the song "Heartstrings" by a local group, My Love for Thee
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A contest entry
- Anything Goes by Shancy Fayre.
700 points, ended January 5, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is most welcome.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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BANDITS READING LIST !!!
I love it Zach! I love the mixed imagery in this sonnet.
- joanne -
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BANDITS READING LIST !!!
A nice oldy worldly sonnet good work on the jewel metaphor and nicely chosen
imagery keep writing well done...George...
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You wow us with your sonnet's Zach, excellent, this heavenly angel reads to me very much like the fallen one, or was he just a shining statue of an angel?. May I just suggest thy instead of thine.
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thank you very much, for dropping by
I'll take care of the "thy" => "thine"
Best wishes.
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Bandit reading list
This is a lovely sonnet from beginning to end, love the use of precious stones in the vivid decriptive terms. Your sonnets are full of great imagery, color, light and emotion, a real joy to let my imagination springborad from you solid platform. Write on dear poet!
Brother Dennis
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Lovely rhyme scheme here and olde english! Great work and such vivid imagery! Thankyou for sharing this. Love is a special thing X DD
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Now, I am no expert and therefore not qualified to comment on the form, but what I can say is that I thought this to be very well written, lovely word choices and had good images.
Impressive,
Floorboards.
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I like your metaphors and the beauty of the poem. Thank you for entering. Shancy.
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Thank you, Shancy
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