Whore
I said
Not knowing
Your position
Or the manner of your situation
Now sullen you sit alone disdainful
Body slumping
Will broken
From my
Tort
Tetractys Style or an attempt at it
Comments
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"bunny" was the first word, so I can imagine something even worse. Software's attempt to protect immature minds...
Whatever it was, obviously it was deadly!
Fourteen words, and two sentence fragments is amazing economy of expression! I know writers who need a whole chapter to achieve much less!
Terry
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LOL bunny was not the first word you where right. A lady of the night selling her body was the first word in the write. I think it was the most profound word and set the tone for the whole write, though that is only my interpretation.
Im not totally sure I did the Tetractys style justice on this write but from my understanding it should be first line, one syllable....second line, two syllables.....3, 4, then 10 and if you write another stanza it should be 10, 4, 3, 2, 1 and it just keeps flipping back and forth until you complete the write.
Terry I know you are hinting at a message for me in the last paragraph but you may have to send me a note as this feeble mind is slowly loosing all sense of rhyme or reason.......lol.
I also appreciate you reading over this write as you are another from this site that your opinion of my writings is held in high regard. You have always kept me on the straight and narrow and you dont know how much I appreciate that honesty.
Thank you. -
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I pondered what you said about the second paragraph and can reassure it was a compliment. The choice of few words you were permitted by the form said it all and said it very well. It needs more?
To the point: no puzzles, no backflips and somersaults of exuberant praise. Compared to some I have seen, with full marching band and dancing girls, I guess it seems quite bland. But then, I am too. It was an excellent poem.
Terry
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Ah now sister I just wanted to make sure that I had your meaning correctly and it seems I did. I say give unto those that are more deserving all the back flips and marching bands. I need not the "fuzzy brass brigade" to know that honesty has graced my page
I shall take bland as it is usually the most compasionate and truthful of all.
Thank you kindly Terry
HammeR
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Wow~
Oh My Word ~ this is one Powerful piece You have penned and what images also energy-
words: will broken- is quite sad...
Brevity penned with Brilliance
Excellent~
Keep that quill dancing my Friend!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Thank you Desire, I consider it a very powerful and profound devastating blow. Words in ager have a very direct effect on many lives, then and in the future. I wrote this piece to remind me to keep myself in check until rational thoughts may prevail. I tried this style once more to see if I enjoyed form poetry and I still do. I really appreciate you stopping in and commenting on this write. Your opinion and a few others on this site are very important to me.
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Thank you Bruce, I appreciate you readin through this one and leaving a comment on it. I had played with this style a few years ago and wanted to see if I could pull it off again. Hopefully I have done it correctly and the poetry police wont be beating upon my door.....lol. I thank you again.
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Oooh! I like this. Tort sort of strikes you on first reading, but I think it's a good choice I like the spacing, too. Well done.
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