In my dreams the world was different.
In my dreams my life was bliss.
How did all my expectations
Come to this?
In my dreams I had a lover.
In my dreams we used to kiss.
How did all my hopes and wishes
Come to this?
In my dreams I had a future.
But my dreams have gone amiss.
How did all my goals and planning
Come to this?
In my dreams I was a dreamer.
In my dreams I dared to dream.
How I wish I could remember
How to dream...
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Simple, but very prettily written.Here, take some applause!
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So sad for me to read seeing how I believe if you can not dream you have no goals which would leave you with out a purpose so I really hope this is just a write for you and in that case you have brought forth strong emotions... and grand iamgery
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Well written
I can see myself in an earlier time saying this, with a distant look in my eyes, holding my middle and forefingers in a light grip, speaking in a daze. I like how you broke the last line from the other last lines of the individual stanzas, it really brings to attention the stark difference between what is desired and what is presented. Although I do enjoy this, I find it a little troubling, this is a statement an asthete (in Kierkegaard's terms) would make. A person who would rather live in a dream, rahter than bring a dream to life. However that also adds to this pieces power, with the struggle to hold on to a dream, despite life forcefully requesting you do otherwise. Excellent job Fro!
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I love the parrelism and great use of poetic convention, however there is a lack of emotion that leaves me empty in the end.
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Thank you. I am not sure, though, how you could get more emotional about such a soul deadening experience...
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A very great write, which I could feel and relate well to... I had to "hide the background" in order to read it -- perhaps my screen!
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The world can never be a perfect place that makes everyone happy. Because, what makes one person happy can make another sad, or angry. It's hard to dream in a society that's troubled, but it doesn't mean it's impossible.
Very powerfull ending stanza:
"In my dreams I was a dreamer.
In my dreams I dared to dream.
How I wish I could remember
How to dream..."
Excellent work.
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Superb Plus
A most unique write; imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. The repetitive line, at the end of each stanza is most effective. Thanks for sharing. -
THis background is beautiful, for starters (my computer is slow, so that was my first impression of the poem lol)
This is pretty and haunting, and delves deep into the reminiscient feelings one has after going through a tragedy they couldn't forsee, so in a way to cope they delve deep into their own past to try and make sense of it all; it speaks of the lonliness and loss that we feel, but cannot explain, and only attempt to try through the words we weave through poetry.
Thank you for sharing this with me; I's sorry I have no more smileys left for you. -
How lovely and wistful! So sad to reach the point where all that glitters is a dream. I love the lines:
'In my dreams I was a dreamer.
In my dreams I dared to dream.
How I wish I could remember
How to dream...'
They remind me of that phrase from 'The Music makers',
'We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams...,
I could imagine Enya singing this! It's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing, my teacher.
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