Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

gravity vs. humanity

 

Gravity's resentment draws
harsh conclusion.
It gather its armies and lines up causalities.

Scene one:
   eroding earth,
nature is against her.
Let her fly, without personal consent.

She sleeps now
on
igneous and dirty sand.

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: on the rocks

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is stunning, you captured something beautiful here well done. Best to you in the contest


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely take on the prompt given, actually. I think it's very deep and you manage to make it a personal story of someones feelings - hard to do with such an obscure, detached prompt but you managed to do this magnificently.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great take on this prompt and very creative
    work here! Good luck to you in both contests!




    Jeremy0826


  • mysticstorm gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very creative...love the second stanza...deep thoughts and feelings in your words...wonderful done.

    Best,
    mystic


  • Darkwell
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really like this alot especially the second stanza beautiful


  • crimsondew
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is packed with powerful imagery, a most enjoyable read and love teh comparison you did here in the title.


  • stasis
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is great.
    I absolutely love the second stanza.

    ♣ Tegan


  • Kiss the girl--x
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'Let her fly, without personal consent.

    She sleeps now
    on igneous and dirty sand.'

    beautiful, beautiful words as ever, i love the imagery of someone sleeping.

    hope you're okie


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      December 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment
      and I'm not sure if you caught it or not but she's not just sleeping, she's dead.

      She's fallen of a cliff
      and died. That's what the imagery is hinting at.

      • Kiss the girl--x
        December 29, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        sowie, i'm half here, half elsewhere, i've been like dying of pneumonia recently :/.... i meant to say, i love the imagery of someone appearing to sleep so gracefully. i did get it, just not great at explaining myself right now.

        hope you're okie

        • lowercase prelude gold member
          December 29, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Hey that's okay. I'm just thankful for your comment
          And I hope your feeling much better and I like your new face image. It's pretty.

          • Kiss the girl--x
            December 29, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            thanks

            i was laughing at yours earlier, i found the idea of shakespeare hating emoness fairly amusing, but again, i'm not totally with it, so i'll laugh for about an hour at something only marginally funny

            • lowercase prelude gold member
              December 29, 2008
              Edit | Reply
              Yeah, the first time I saw it, which was on Facebook, I was laughing. So, I decided to add it as my face image.


              • Kiss the girl--x
                December 29, 2008
                Edit | Reply
                it's prolly true as well
                I was reading shakespeare tonight


                • lowercase prelude gold member
                  December 29, 2008
                  Edit | Reply
                  lol yeah
                  which one are you reading? or were you, i should say...

                  • Kiss the girl--x
                    December 29, 2008
                    Edit | Reply
                    I was reading sonnets,
                    my favouritest poem everrrr:
                    shall i compare thee to a summers day
                    has been since i was little, I know it off by heart, have done since i recited it in assembly when I was seven


  • MichaelBe
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, really nice write magnificently crafted with impressive lexical choices. the closing two lines are particularly powerful and moving - well done

1 - 18 of 18