Gravity's resentment draws
harsh conclusion.
It gather its armies and lines up causalities.
Scene one:
eroding earth,
nature is against her.
Let her fly, without personal consent.
She sleeps now
on igneous and dirty sand.
Author notes
Prompt: on the rocks
A contest entry
- Enter all your poems. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended February 20, 281 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 30-40 words of Brilliance #46 by AutumnGypsy.
600 points, ended January 10, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow this is stunning, you captured something beautiful here well done. Best to you in the contest
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A lovely take on the prompt given, actually. I think it's very deep and you manage to make it a personal story of someones feelings - hard to do with such an obscure, detached prompt but you managed to do this magnificently.
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Great take on this prompt and very creative
work here! Good luck to you in both contests!
Jeremy0826 -
Very creative...love the second stanza...deep thoughts and feelings in your words...wonderful done.
Best,
mystic
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i really like this alot especially the second stanza beautiful
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This is packed with powerful imagery, a most enjoyable read and love teh comparison you did here in the title.
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This is great.
I absolutely love the second stanza.
♣ Tegan
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'Let her fly, without personal consent.
She sleeps now
on igneous and dirty sand.'
beautiful, beautiful words as ever, i love the imagery of someone sleeping.
hope you're okie
♥
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thanks for the comment
and I'm not sure if you caught it or not but she's not just sleeping, she's dead.
She's fallen of a cliff
and died. That's what the imagery is hinting at. -
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sowie, i'm half here, half elsewhere, i've been like dying of pneumonia recently :/.... i meant to say, i love the imagery of someone appearing to sleep so gracefully. i did get it, just not great at explaining myself right now.
hope you're okie
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Hey that's okay. I'm just thankful for your comment
And I hope your feeling much better and I like your new face image. It's pretty. -
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thanks
i was laughing at yours earlier, i found the idea of shakespeare hating emoness fairly amusing, but again, i'm not totally with it, so i'll laugh for about an hour at something only marginally funny
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Yeah, the first time I saw it, which was on Facebook, I was laughing. So, I decided to add it as my face image.
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it's prolly true as well
I was reading shakespeare tonight
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lol yeah
which one are you reading? or were you, i should say... -
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I was reading sonnets,
my favouritest poem everrrr:
shall i compare thee to a summers day
has been since i was little, I know it off by heart, have done since i recited it in assembly when I was seven
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ah yes, Shakespearean sonnets
good stuff
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wow, really nice write magnificently crafted with impressive lexical choices. the closing two lines are particularly powerful and moving - well done
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