Your voice was a wasp.
But it was I that committed the sin
of listening.
The voices that nurtured were never still.
There was always the murmur of the river
(I never learned to swim)
And in a dream I watched Westminster burning,
and heard again the conversations of storms
coming and going and
the egg shell tap-tap of hatching dreams
beginning.
(But because they were never easy,
ending.)
How much like the lioness, not sated
till the savage lion has both bitten and mated,
I am.
Author notes
To the reader: This is a complex poem that deals thematically with all the baggage we carry (as the contest suggests) but more specifically with the response we all have when we look back at all the "regrets" we have. We often blame our parents, our society, our teachers, religious / moral exemplars, God or fate, and even sometimes ourselves. But this poem deals with the person carrying the baggage and there is a dramatic tension between the first line (the admission of guilt) and the last line (a sense that it is in our nature to make mistakes, a fatal flaw so to speak) that destabalizes any hope of a simple answer to the questions of accountability for our "baggage".
Actual examples of baggage are found in the second stanza and are both personal and universal. They range from the sound of the river I never really make the time to appreciate listening to (and the fact that I never learned to swim which might save my life!) to the image of the burning Westminster bridge in London that signifies the way we tend to burn bridges and regret it later! Also, this bridge is over the Thames and if it's burnin and one can't swim... that's a serious problem! lolz
There's also symbolism in the use of the lioness, traditionally a symbol of strength but underlying it is a great weakness.
A contest entry
- Baggage (Favourites only, or favourites of favourites) by J.J. Sass.
6000 points, ended January 28, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Mar, I'm so glad you were able to draw inspiration and play along!
That first line really stung as it was meant to! I'm not so sure about the repetition of voice(s), especially so soon after its first use.I like the metaphor of the river, and burning bridges. Love 'conversations of storms'... it's one of those lines/phrases I wish I wrote. I don't think you need the bracketed lines at the end of the 2nd stanza. We already get the notion that the dreams aren't whole, never coming to fruition with the 'egg shell' image and the word 'beginning'. I'm kinda on the fence with the ending - I like the power in what it says, it's just how it's said that isn't really sealing the deal for me, as a close.
All in all, those thoughts were just what I felt as I read. I really enjoyed this piece, and it did have some truly wonderful moments!
Thanks so much for entering.
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