Some days as a mom one admits are real tough,
a struggle to just make it through;
another homemaker who understands
can be a blessed life-line to you!
For me, this was Tanya, a neighbor dear,
her children, like mine, numbered five;
some days were rejoicers, and others, the pits,
some, marvels we left them alive!
The times we were totally angry or fried
we’d march self to the other’s house,
“Let’s go to Bahamas, I’ve had it, it’s time!
I’m sick of my offspring (or spouse)!”
In afternoon heat, on the cool cement porch,
sit and plan out our fantasy flight,
daydream of the beaches and warm, soft sands,
lagoons, tropic sunsets, delights!
Then one would recall she had nothing to pack
‘til a mountain of laundry was washed;
the other, no bathing suit fit to be worn
and adventuring plans were soon quashed.
Occasional days bright with frustration’s glow,
dear friendship's response, “The Bahamas! Let’s go!”
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Excellent!!
Well done...you have exspressed so clearly what a Mother, a Wife goes through in everyday life. The challenges that we face, the obstacles we overcome and then through all of it we are sometimes not appreciated. If only is what goes through our minds..."The Bahamas!!!!
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Excellent
This is a great write..
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Love Peace,
campanaro
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oh the blissful idea of escaping for a bit, leaving all the worries and chores behind us. this was fun to read.
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Needs revision
What first caught my attention was the title,which is what prompted me to read it.
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Thank you for reading. Very best wishes to you on your upcoming book!
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this poem creates a great understanding of the feelings of motherhood (and/or marriage at times).
well drafted -
I'm in! Oh...I have both the "mountain o' Laundry AND no bathing suit that fits - yet.
Brilliantly written with good metric flow and rhyme. Each word carefully placed, yet the whole comes together unpretentious and just REAL. Love it!
Congratulations on being spotlighted! *hooray*
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Absolutely brilliant. What a wonderful friendship you two girls have and I love your method of escape until reality hits you in the face. But you can dream girl, you can always dream.
Sheila
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Well written, you told your story well. We all need that break. I justweish I could join you in the beautful island.
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This is absolutly beautiful, the imagery is divine. The dreams we dream, even if we never see them, keep us going, calm us down. The final line echos the sentiment of the whole, summing up a conjured beauty of the dream. A subtle truth of a slice of life. Excellent, I love it.
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Yep, that fifth stanza is an icy cold splash,
has to bring you back from those warm sands fast.
This write is wonderful and moving in a subtle way for all of us nurturers that have known too many of these days. Especially for me, I connect with the Bahamas as that is where we spent all 3 days of our honeymoon with all the confidence we would be back again and again. Three kids later, It has been more than fourteen years....
Blue
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I don't have much constructive criticism, but I really like the theme of your Bahama daydreams
And the fifth stanza is especially cute.
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