Do Better, Be as Miserable
©copyright 2008 Bonita M Quesinberry
She spoke wisdom's words as clear as the turquoise seas;
yet in a second the earth could shake, her vile rage swelling tsunamis.
As a child I easily swam in waters calm,
rode out wild thirty-foot waves as my brother sank extending his palm;
each huge surge slamming me to embittered black sand.
At times I was safe, but more often battered and bruised at her command.
Mother's contradiction said, "Do better than me;"
while her actions always implied, just be as miserable as she:
thus, our best efforts could not rise to her demand.
Who was this woman I'd no mem'ry of 'til six?
Indeed, I feared her but spoke and stood up to her as straight as a stick:
brother hid in his room when black clouds descended.
It made no sense that we were the cause of her happiness rescinded,
for me logic was Mother sick in mind and heart;
so, I would learn of her child within, who from reality departs:
she was five when father died, twelve her mother be.
Still, she did not know what she was doing or to whom, she did not see,
and thirty years 'fore I'd know my own spirit's part.
Fear of being alone, she hid in a drugged haze,
bitter edges softened until that cloud lifted; then the storm would rage,
dragging my brother down to her pilled universe
while I grew strong: my thoughts, anguish, and findings penned in poetic verse.
Then the day came when I knew why truth I wielded,
why no anger thus who I was meant to be: God's Handmaiden shielded.
It had not been done to me, only my flesh;
sheltered by Logic, so I could help others like me gain hearts afresh.
Mom died of pills; my brother cancer then fielded.
We, you and I, can ride out life's storms!
And, before the sun slips from behind those clouds,
we can be better than today's norms.
All we need is Father and His Christ and Truth.
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Author notes
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In a list
A contest entry
- Free Write 2 by x26ss.
400 points, ended January 21, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What a Write!
Getting to know you a little here, by your testimony of your beginnings! Wow what a story of dysfunctionalism, and hardship! How you emerged as you have is only God! Your write is exceptional in rhyme verse and flow...Should have been a gold!
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Amen
This was powerful...blessings.
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Thank you so much, Denise! By the grace of God go I; for I could have traveled a very destructive road, as my brother did. I had often wondered why me instead of him. But, from a psychological point of view, I easily understand that he was so emotionally weak and extremely introverted as a child. I was far from being introverted, likely the extreme opposite.
Luv ya, SisBon
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great write, so ery personal and profound. A sad poem, in the beginning. The last stanza brings us home!!
good luck -
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Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. God is good and He WILL take us home soon! That I know without a doubt.
Much love in Christ,
BonnieQ
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Very nice
We all have a purpose and we should try to find it here on earth so that we can accomplish what we need to do for lord God. I read this thinking that there was a time when we first met, that you were going to leave this site, but a few of God's messengers came together to stop you! Thank God! I cherish every time we talk and I learn so much that I did not know from your works. never let others block your quill for your words give life to His! God bless you more than he already has and us with your mind and spirit! I love you Sis, The Shaker
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Ah, yes, my darling Bro, I do remember those "leaving" days and I did for the last year and a half. And, perhaps it is you and precious few others that had the Lord leading me back; albeit, the writing still is not back up to par: too much time spent fighting the current battle for seniors and elderly. It certainly is a bitter one, but I know that there will be an end and God will avenge.
Thank you so much for the encouragement and for always being there for me. Speaking of those "leaving" days, you were the one who jumped right into the fray and spoke out on my behalf. My brother Hero/Warrior! 
Much love and hugs, SisBon 
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