I am lead weight cast,
a guileless gutter ball, betimes,
through slight off-side scoot
and clatter fall
or not
faith, hope, patience,
authenticity, ceremony,
love, ah yes, Love
wobbling on hard wood
alongside
volition, values, veracity
and gratitude
ah, yes, gratitude
for ping and swing
of possibilities.
Author notes
BOWLING PIN, meaning = A surprizing turn, all ten pins await you in the new year. You can be on the edge of your seat, ready to experience hitting not just one but all ten!
In a list
A contest entry
- The Secret of the Lead Castings by ea.
700 points, ended January 1, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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You cannot throw any more than a ball at a time. Nothing matters about what has happened before only what you do with what you have now. Bowling is Zen pearls strung together and called a game.
I like the opening, it is humble and full of the dynamic sense of turning. And it blends into the next verse where veracity and rite vie for dominance or learn partnership.
In the end you celebrate opportunity available. For it is all we have.
Love, Tom B.
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ty for such an indepth comment, tomisb. I value your comments and critique.
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Your welcome. I think it often helps to see the response a poem creates in the reader as much as critique of form and style. For is it not both a creation that should blossom in the heart and soul of the reader as much as it is a meal for the mind to chew upon.
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From formless leadweight, Guileless Gutter-Ball (love that) to wobbling on the hardwood, moving toward the 10 pins, hoping for a Strike!
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and strike I shall, I have no doubt..life just gets better. ty
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This made me a little sad the first time I read it, I think just from picking up on the lead weight cast, and now on a second read, I discover the ten pins of faith, hope, patience, authenticity, ceremony, love, volition, values, veracity and gratitude with a stronger message of faith and hope. You've mixed this with the jauntiness and surety of someone who wields their bowling ball with all their strength. I really love how you incorporated the casting and the prediction and that illustration is unbelievablely apt.
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ty ea, for the silver and the invite to this contest. I really got into it and picked up a great deal from my writing about it.
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Welcome to the party and thanks for joining in with your pick of the little leaden anchor!
It has now been recast in the shape of a:
BOWLING PIN, meaning = A surprizing turn, all ten pins await you in the new year. You can be on the edge of your seat, ready to experience hitting not just one but all ten!
I hope you enjoyed playing the secrets of the lead castings and that the prediciton inspires you as it has New Years revelers since ancient Roman times.
Wishing you all the best in 2009!
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