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Charcoal Rains





Pressure mounted;

trees shivered with low growls

          pretending a barrage
    of blended winds
would nullify rains.

Near robin's nest
storm serenade glazed petals,

filtering creative rhythm.

Tempo bled into heart-filled song!

Freedom came beating, lifting, soaring;

flying with the wind as it tilted and spun

              grays and whites,

          and pea-green moisture -

    far above.

Swirling within its heated race,

    drenching as a summer storm.

I wasn't carefree or barefoot
until the rain came

when

my short skirt

    welded to teen thighs

let them dance freely;

charcoal rains pelleting steamy streets
brooding where the growl had been

bringing fresh found freedom to light.




Author notes

Brontide: the low rumbling of distant thunder
Pamela A Lamppa

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    The juxtaposition of the dark, forbidding sky with the carefree exhuberance of the young protaganist was very well done. A judicious amount of alliteration and other poetic devices added to the feeling of this piece. I was a little distracted by the amount of spacing, but formatting is an individual preference. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz


  • Peteskid gold member
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    the growl of a coming storm in brilliant contrast to the feelings it brings into the spring of a season, and the spring time of a life...the robin's nest and renewal...so very well done...PK


    • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
      January 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much. I am so pleased you enjoyed this one and found its meaning. Thank you. ~Pamela


  • ckwriter69
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful, I like the sounds and colors used in your imagery and the staggered lines that flow like rain running down a street. Good luck in the contest and keep writing.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    Very exuberant in it feeling...
    I felt drenched in positivity after the read.
    Blue

    • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
      January 10
      Edit | Reply
      As it should. Good good good. Then my message was clear. Thank you my friend. Always my voice of encouragement. So pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela


  • arafura gold member
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great imagery! Beautiful poem!

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I also think you did a lovely job with this the images are fresh and filled with lovely thoughts thanks for sharing good luck in the contest be well.


    • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
      December 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Starz of Heaven

      Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela

  • mountain-woman
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This so good and refreshing to read. I you wrote something really wonderful here, all the best in the contest, Michele


    • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
      December 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Michele

      Thank you. I am so pleased you enjoyed this one. I appreciate your kind comments so much. ~Pamela

1 - 13 of 13