Pressure mounted;
trees shivered with low growls
pretending a barrage
of blended winds
would nullify rains.
Near robin's nest
storm serenade glazed petals,
filtering creative rhythm.
Tempo bled into heart-filled song!
Freedom came beating, lifting, soaring;
flying with the wind as it tilted and spun
grays and whites,
and pea-green moisture -
far above.
Swirling within its heated race,
drenching as a summer storm.
I wasn't carefree or barefoot
until the rain came
when
my short skirt
welded to teen thighs
let them dance freely;
charcoal rains pelleting steamy streets
brooding where the growl had been
bringing fresh found freedom to light.
Author notes
Brontide: the low rumbling of distant thunder
Pamela A Lamppa
A contest entry
- November Rounds #3 by CitrineSunrise.
700 points, ended January 12, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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The juxtaposition of the dark, forbidding sky with the carefree exhuberance of the young protaganist was very well done. A judicious amount of alliteration and other poetic devices added to the feeling of this piece. I was a little distracted by the amount of spacing, but formatting is an individual preference. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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the growl of a coming storm in brilliant contrast to the feelings it brings into the spring of a season, and the spring time of a life...the robin's nest and renewal...so very well done...PK


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Thank you so much.
I am so pleased you enjoyed this one and found its meaning. Thank you. ~Pamela
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Very beautiful, I like the sounds and colors used in your imagery and the staggered lines that flow like rain running down a street. Good luck in the contest and keep writing.


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Thank you.
Thank you. ~Pamela
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Very exuberant in it feeling...
I felt drenched in positivity after the read.
Blue


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As it should. Good good good. Then my message was clear. Thank you my friend. Always my voice of encouragement.
So pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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Great imagery! Beautiful poem!


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Thank you so much.
I am pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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I also think you did a lovely job with this the images are fresh and filled with lovely thoughts thanks for sharing good luck in the contest be well.


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Starz of Heaven
Thank you so much.
I am pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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Wow
This so good and refreshing to read. I you wrote something really wonderful here, all the best in the contest, Michele

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Michele
Thank you.
I am so pleased you enjoyed this one. I appreciate your kind comments so much.
~Pamela
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1 - 13 of 13







