this must be what salvation feels like:
a vacant motel parking lot
where the e flickers, buzzes, and is gone
this must be what salvation feels like:
ghosts of gasoline in puddles of rain
cigarettes coughing cancer
harmonica
beauty in filth
Author notes
mood ring turned red
A contest entry
- .give me something amazing. by landmark.
1650 points, ended January 7, 50 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best All-Around Prewrites From 2008 by amaranthine lover.
1400 points, ended January 9, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Share the Love by fatality-rhymed77.
700 points, ended March 9, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prose && free verse by jayyniecakes..
400 points, ended February 21, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Contest by tears.of.silence.
1000 points, ended April 18, 407 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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now this one was a little weird,and hard to figure why these very mundane things are beautiful. maybe because its normal? i'm not sure,but definitely was interesting to read.
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lol this is quite magnificant. I liked the way you played upon your words. You've received a 15 for this poem. You now have a total of 44 points. thanks for entering and best of luck to you. Kah
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This was very haunting -
Upon reading the title, I had wondered was it to be about Johanna from Sweeny Todd, but I gather not now -
Usually I'm not a fan of poetry of this formation however you worked this one well;
Very visually active - and invoking the senses as well!
Great job, and thanks for entering
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It's a good poem but I don't really feel the love. I really do like the style though, it gives a flow that's really smooth.
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sometimes you find love in the strangest places
that was what i was going for anyway.
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I like it.
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Agrees completely.
Perfection, cleanliness, and order are overrated. True beauty lies in the chaos, entropy, filth, grunge, and flawed nature of the world.
I love, love the imagery here. It's so solid all on its own.
You're definitely honing in on the imagism of William Carlos Williams, and it works. I like that you do more than paint a picture, though. I hear the neon buzzing and the raspy harmonica, I feel the bench shake as an old man heaves with a cigarette in hand next to me. Cigarettes are one of my favorite poetic symbols, by the way.
Brilliant, take care,
Kelsey-Jo -
the imagery is almost haunting, but yet there does come across a feeling of calm. I love the harmonica...it too can sound ghostl
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wow! this has very strong words and verses. i love the last line: 'beauty in filth'
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the most amazing places one can find salvation in the world. I like that not much is given as to the background ... really not necessary. the use of spacing is effective and wonderful images.
thanks and best of luck in the contest.
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i actually thought about you when i was writing that bit about motel parking lots
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your street trumpet sounds for the death of an angel caught misbehaving
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ooooh very interesting. thank you for entering.
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