“how about not equating death with stopping”
--alanis morisette, 'thank you'
sleep,
now that you can, love,
sleep for eternity—
and when it is time,
i will wake you.
we always held each other
like hand-blown glass
in cosmic transmissions;
i cannot lie about my frailty.
i shattered upon your ascent.
—but after the oceans of tears
and the freedom and trappings
of cloud-blankets and angel wings, of
you seeing through my eyes,
of taking the pain and realizing
we are sacred and divine—
the shattered pieces are mended.
and after the end,
i will go home to you,
into the known.
Author notes
"Thank You" by Alanis Morisette
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Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Ah..what a range you have crafted with so universal touches of the life and its philosophy as well..love the immagereis and its concept..wonderful indeed...
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Interesting perspective of death, that someone preceeding you, makes it a known quantity. Lovely!Geo
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This is a good take on the song, and you've done it well. The poem is a bit not what I was expecting, but then again I asked for the unespected.
Good luck
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I really like this. It has warmth and emotion and
it's deep. Excellent.
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This one has a very contemporary feel to it. The stanza that I thought was particularly lovely is:
"we always held each other
like hand-blown glass
in cosmic transmissions;"
I'm not certain how I feel about the "-" at the beginning of the fourth stanza and the italics at the end. They seem a bit unnecessary.
Overall, this is a pretty stong piece. Best of luck to you in the contest. -
Independent thought...
...around the world unbiased by religion leads us to Him
'i will go home to you,
into the known.'
As you end you speak of Gods truth; and surprisingly of the consciousness of knowing him.
Lol
Even saints long to say this.
Congrats your poem is good and should stand firm
"In an audio version".
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