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Morning Monologue

The cock crows.
Staccato's sent out to lazy sleepers:
dawn predicts night in approach
wearing its long black cloak.

What happened to the silence of my country road?
What is this gale rattling the locked gate?
Why can't it slip through trellis,
curve its caress over cast
or slide playfully underneath the oiled trail?

I think it is deliberate in its want
to remind me I am jailed
in a temporary world.

What I am
attracted many,
but none could accept me
for who I am.

Sun bends iron rods against my bedroom wall;
barred, the window to my universe.

I am amused.
Why does this day come to my rescue
as if I am not free?

A bird weaves its art within my heart.
A turtle dove, that visits the patio
feeding itself on tidbits found,
leaving soul sound to digest:
the usual lunch before the rest.

I am a universal feeling
floating over a world frozen by a jolt of fear.
Perhaps I may catch the eye of a stranger.
Perhaps my love may  fuddle a flame
in a crying heart.

Good morning, all the loves I never faced.
Good morning, all the faces I never loved.
Good morning, my Only Love!







Author notes

I used the following five phrases:
country road;
long black cloak;
the usual lunch;
jolt of fear;
eye of a stranger.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • deercatcher
    January 25, 2009

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    You seem a bride here and in photo
    Intense longing not at war with contentment
    I can't hang words on all that swirls within


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    January 22, 2009

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    Beautifully written and presented. So very very pleased to see a trophy grace this delightful piece. Excellent. Congratulations. ~Pamela


  • Ronald Wiseman gold member
    January 22, 2009

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    A dawn monologue

    of philosophical and religious reflection. There is something in the poem that both gives the sense of writing from prison yet feeling absoloute freedom. It is a very personal poem. I thinl leo2 put his finger on it.
    The invocatory triplet at the poem's conclusion is delightful.
    The poem is very thoughtful with morning predicting night as your opening inviting one into the intensity of the moment.
    Thank you, poet, for your considered and considerable poem.


    • myrataal gold member
      January 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much for the Bronze in this contest ...

      and for careful judging. I am thankful.

      Love to you both.

      Myra


  • Sandi Alford
    January 17, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    monolouge of life itself!

    You've penned so many reasons why Dawn is my favorite time of day. Sounds, colors, shapes only found in the early hours. I especially liked the opening of morning predicting night, it adds to the idea of making every moment of the day count, because it ends much to soon.

    Wonderful job incorporating all the phrases, they flow so efffertlessly I had to look for them

    Best wishes in the contest!

    Let the ink flow!
    Love and blessings, Sandi


  • leo2
    January 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    The picture you've painted is pretty much the way I feel about my morning..... jailed by my own contempt for the unfamiliar and my love for the simple pleasures of life.

    Excellent food for thought dear poet. I wish you well in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    January 6, 2009

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    It would be difficult to pick a line that I favored since each one is a gem. You found a unique way to use this phrase bank, and I loved every word. Your invocation at the end is very powerful and ends this work on just the right note. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz


  • chilali
    December 30, 2008

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    A lovely write. To use all of those phrases and pen something truly remarkable. Thank you for sharing this. I very much enjoyed the lovely read!

    Much love
    Ylova


  • Justin Stone
    December 30, 2008

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    Way to all over the place my mind was attracted to many ideas floating around. The poem needs to be more succint and take a the rhetorical questions. The rhetorical questions are to question the reader and create thought so its hard to ask more than one and in the middle of the poem. Usually they are better to be reserved for the end to give the reader a finishing though and personal question to keep his mind on the idea of which your trying to get across.


    • myrataal gold member
      December 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Oh Poet, my mind works like this GRIN

      and is life not a myriad of compulsive distractions? Yet, nothing in this poem floats around, that I can assure you of. For if you read carefully, you will see each stanza links to the one before and the one to follow, to finally arrive at the conclusion: Life is tactile and thus linked in sound, motion, thought, sight, touch and a wondrous discovery that although we are captured in mortality, we are free to perceive at will. Isn't that wondrous?

      Now. Read again and let the words take you to wherever you want. If you truly have time, simply soak in the first stanza and freeze over. LOL LOL LOL Now I am beginning to enjoy this so I better stop RIGHT HERE.

      Thank you nevertheless for your comment and for formulating your perspective in such a coherent manner.


  • hawkeslake gold member
    December 30, 2008

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    I certainly agree with all the great comments below, and especially with Yvette, who seems to know her way around great poetry. This is exceptionally lovely and worth reading several times. Your talent just sings out, here!


  • Clovis6790Curious silver member
    December 29, 2008

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    Superb

    I quite liked the thoughts which you expressed so well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.


  • forethought
    December 29, 2008

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    This is interesting and refreshing, though a little bit scattered. However, that isn't a bad thing, as it fits well witht he assumed tone garnered from the given title. Reading this gives you the warm fuzzy feeling you have when you wake up on a weekend knowing that you can roll over and go right back to sleep, but you are struck in your morning reverie by the beauty of the world, and just can't ignore it. Thank you for sharing this lovely pieve!

    (sorry, but i only have one little smiley left)


  • galoyola
    December 29, 2008
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    Intense! Please, let me thank you for this work of art

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    December 29, 2008

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    Splendiferous...

    Though writing from the challenge of a phrasebank this piece of poetry is not compromized by the craftsmanship of interlacing them as neatly as Sunday best dress shoes. This morning monologue weaves and bobs with the impishness of need to prize experience and it does, the door is opened and no holds are barred, the reader is as amused as the timbre of voice within the narrative and enjoys the wishing well to those faces yet to meet, those that have already been met and yes, yes, yes, hello again one true love. I read this three times, thrice because it's so nice, the only pause for me was at " to feed itself off rests" this is not a criticism but simply a perspective, I wondered whether you had considered instead " to feed itself of rests /oft rests/often rests " forgive my rambling, this is a delightful dance with words which I found enchanting.Whether or not it is placed in a contest it's a trophy piece of poetry.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    December 29, 2008
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    "I think it is deliberate in its want
    to remind me I am jailed
    in a temporary world."

    LOVED simply LOVED that stanza. How true it is. You made great use of the phrase prompts for your poem. Very very well done. Thoroughly enjoyable. ~Pamela

  • michaeline
    December 29, 2008

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    Good luck in this contest I think you may have a winner.I like the ay you layed out this poem and your word choices made the reader able to follo you and relate to what your thoughts were.You are a very talanted writer and I am glad that I got the chance to read this.

  • oldpoets
    December 29, 2008

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    A nw=ew day arisses and I think all of us wonder what the fates will bring. This is an excellent write.


  • liltulip gold member
    December 29, 2008
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    wonderful to read!

    thank you for sharing!

  • Bad Bill gold member
    December 29, 2008

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    A very beautiful poem, full of startling and lovely phrases and images. A real pleasure to read.

    Bill

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