you begin
by telling me
my eyebrows are uneven
my right breast is larger
than my left
my feet smell after work
you begin this
by touching your thumb
to my lips
your cheek to my ear
and I can never learn
to love a thing more
Author notes
Perfec words, perfect sex.... it's all just a prelude to disaster. But putting up with each others crap and, sometimes, a warped sense of humor, is the best kind of love.
In a list
A contest entry
- love by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended December 29, 2008, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique the hell out of it if you are so inclined
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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the intimacies of getting to know each other.
my feet smell after work too.
in fact all of me smells today
i think my left breast is bigger. not sure.
My eyebrows are totally fucked.
nice.
raw.
truth is amazing.
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yeah, I didn't even want to get started about facial hair issues... the poem would've been far too long had that been the case. lol
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Really...this is my life. I do enjoy our sarcastic, warped kind of love, but sometimes I want more.
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warped is beautiful
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Yes, it is my kind of beautiful too. I think people kid themselves with the whole cliche fairytale bullshit. Life in general is too warped for love not to be.
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This is exceptional! Simple, real, identifiable.
Love this!
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This made my night.
A perfect, authentic moment ... skillful use of detail ... altogether, another great example of why we have poetry.
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This makes me smile. I am inclined to agree, best kind of love.
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I hat you a little
for writing so small
so well.
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I decided to try something else by you, since I gave you a rather critical view of the conversation with you father (requested!) Beautifully concise yet speaks volumes. Yes, we do all put up with their crap but then, they put up with ours. Getting the balance just right is the secret.
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Holy damn.
"you begin" and "you begin this"
are such...
amazingly genius stanza openers.
S1 just made me smile...it's so absurdly realistic.
"and I can never learn
to love a thing more"
Oh god.
You're amazing.
Everything you write is human, I think.
;
Jessica
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Damn fine poetry
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I love the author notes, it is all about putting up with each other's crap.
Love the piece honey. -
Sounds like marriage to me. lol.
I'm not into sappy love poems, so this does it for me.
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Aww, This is very sweet in a realistic kind of way. Well written, combines the ugly with beauty well, & makes me jealous. Love this.
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.
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