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Whisper

Winter wind whistles through the hollow
Here she hangs high above the ground
Ice and snow all around
Soon someone will witness the grizzly vision
Perhaps hearing her screams
Even though it's just a mirage
Repeating itself for all eterinty

Author notes

T h e - H u m a n- S t a i n

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Ami
    August 27
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    Wow this is an awesome acrostic! short and write to the point
    The imaginary in this is awesome :]
    Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck
    -♥Amy♥


  • Ted E Bare gold member
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    Well-done "acrostically" speaking! Wonder how many others picked up on that? Truly enjoyable (as acrostics have a place in my heart). I want to thank you for your entry into the following contest: "To Be Put On My Favorites List."

    Ted E

    PS: Your entry has been blessed by the three wise clappers, but don't spend the whole nine points in one place(lol)!

  • Ami
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    Short and sweet great imagination in this and great flow
    amazing write and Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck

    -♥Amy♥


  • Mango Memories gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    Now this gave me shivers!

    Wow, fantastic imagry im really really impressed!

    well done on a great write!


  • Cyanide Dreams
    April 20

    Edit | Reply

    87

    Title: 9/10
    Originality: 10/10
    Emotion: 7/10
    Grammar/Spelling: 9/10
    Flow/Structure: 8/10
    Imagery: 9/10
    Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 8/10
    Reaction: 8/10
    Rules: 10/10
    Overall: 9/10
    Totaling: 87/100

    The main idea of this poem is great. I think that you could elaborate more, what's going on? What's going to stop it? Use metaphors to show your emotions. Chilling write though. The imagery was really good, I envisioned your poem in my mind. Good job and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • Symphony
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    Oh geez, this gave me the shivers - it was a very chilling write, paritcualrly the screaming part - I could hear it almost ... Made me shudder - so great reaction to provoke from me!

    Thanks for entering


  • The Fun House silver member
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry but the shade of whisper is in the blue hues and you cannot enter it for the purple as well so I must remove it from that contest. I'm sorry.

  • The Fun House silver member
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    That is a vision to behold indeed, I'm sure. Whispers do often carry those haunting voices that we seem to ingore.


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    I love this. I especially like the last two lines. It sounds like the bitterness of winter. Thank you for sharing your poetry with me.


  • thepoetssoul
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful poem written with deep and dark imagery.Splendidly done indeed.\

    Tony

1 - 10 of 10