The pain of loss is crippling,
when a child has been the cost
The paralyzing effect it has,
leaves you feeling completely lost
Time passes by so slowly,
as it tests your very soul
Every memory cuts you deeply,
every birthday takes its toll
Many thoughts of quitting,
and hatred it does dredge
Each day you try to balance,
"tight-rope walking the razor’s edge"
Author notes
(Bosiarbooger)
Art: Cemetary_stock_44_by_Tigg_stock atdeviantart.com
(12 lines)
A contest entry
- DARK PROMPTS: I WANT "GREAT" SHORTS by IrishGypsyRose.
1000 points, ended December 31, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music!" round 1 of 4 by iamthebeatles.
650 points, ended February 5, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is one of the best dark writes I have read in a long while. The image adds to the chilling sensation your words create perfectly. I love the rhyme as well. All together this poem, though frightening and depressing, creates a wonderful artistic Gothic piece. Well done!
cassie
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A very good write and interpretation of the
prompt. Dark. Sorrowful. You vividly describe
the pain of grief in losing a child. Good flow,
rhyme and tone. Deep expression of emotion.
Well penned. Best wishes in the contest.
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Awesome job. Very saddening piece, but it's the truth...Like the part about the birthdays....they do hit hard. As do the holidays!
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Forgot these.....
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As usual you have nailed the prompt with the beauty of your words. I love your flawless rhyme and rhythm. The words just flow off of your tongue as you read aloud which I often do (smile). Thank you for the opportunity once again to enjoy real poetry. Good luck in the contest though none is needed. Happy New Year! and God Bless, Jo-Ann
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WOW. that is really good. you are a very good poet. ^^ GREAT job.
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Hearbreaking
I am stunned speechless. I was teary eyed reading this piece. I cannot imagine the loss of my children, though I had several miscarriages that have made me appreciate each one of my three kids that much more. I think this piece is amazing with great rhythmic flow. The rhyming was not forced at all. Thank you for entering this contest and good luck. Yours,Gypsy
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