It is all but secure, all but right
As I am crawling, crawling to escape your gaze
Your grace, your magnetic pull, tugging at my heart's leash
That seems to choke me as I stop to view
It is all but facile, all but tranquil
As you are my blindfold, my sight shaded before I have seen the world
And now all I see is you
Your gaze, your grace, your magnetic pull.
It is all but happiness
Yet I am drawn to you; as if I am docile to none but you
It is all but lucid
But it is clear to me and my eyes for all they see is you; your gaze, your grace...
I have fallen
Into your deep well of forced sorrows
Into your eyes so skilled in fascination
Into hell with your blindfold misguiding me
In love - I am all but safe.
Author notes
I've been itching to write a few love poems. xD
I don't really know what is cliche for you, but I tried my best to be original.
A contest entry
- love by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended December 29, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty is my future's savior
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Your repetition of words greatly takes away the effect of the piece!
You have a good foundation but I do think this needs a bit of reworking and rewording -
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Alright, thank you. I'll try to work on that.
I like repetition, but if you don't that's fine.
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I'm not entirely sure if this is falling in love in a good way, or a bad way. Obsession, bordering on diving to darkness.
Nice closing, though, it's excellent in summation.
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Thank you.
Love is not always a pleasant process. ;D -
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No, actually, I can agree with that firsthand. I have been in situations like that. I don't know, entirely, if I've ever felt secure in love... But hopefully it will change.
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