Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Last chance

Time has come and gone unknowing
Our love is now but more of a lie
I want to give us one last chance
Before my life bids me goodbye.


Some dreams might open up their eyes
We will leave us few moments to remember
My life would then seem more worthwhile
If only, we make it through december.

A contest entry

Tell me what you think.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Swan song gold member
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written well done


  • Danna Hobart
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I am going to be honest. First of all, your poem has no imagery, which means that it does not show, it tells. I asked for poems that show instead of tell. The tone is rather mellow dramatic, and it is also very cliche.

    On a postive note- I like the way you rhymed remember with December.