Swinging blades in the summer rain
kissing tongue-tied marigolds
we sat at creekside with washboards
tossing stones in emerald water-
The smell of lye soap lingered in the air
like a straight shot of native bourbon
I rubbed your feral scent into my wounds
bathed you in Christ’s communion-
Autumn came at us with an open palm
as johnboats moved like butter knives
exhaling black cigarette smoke
into the soft-shelled pearl expanse-
We were two mismatched puzzle pieces
sopping up gasoline from a tanker
the smell of your skin still haunts me
each time I hold a burning lantern.
A contest entry
- love by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended December 29, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Brilliant!!!
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Ohhh lovely. Sends a little shiver across my skin, I really do enjoy how you`ve put everything together... Mm feral scents.
Every time I read another piece of yours I`m grateful to have found such a talented poet.
Ashley A. Wolfe
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Great piece here Joseph! I especially liked the ending in this..You did good my friend!!
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Thanks, Pat. Always appreciate the wonderful comments.
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Wow, I like this a lot. It takes me on a trip of the senses. Gorgeous imagery.
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Wonderful imagery throughout.
I really enjoyed the read.
Love the lines.....
"We were two mismatched puzzle pieces
sopping up gasoline from a tanker"
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I love that you have imagery and really quite a bit of it -
but I do think that you could trim this a bit to make it more powerful -
Oh wow. This is absolutely stunning. A superb write indeed. I love how you've described everything so perfectly, and how you paint vivid pictures in my head. The imagery was wonderful and your word choice, Joe, it was yes, flawless! I read this three times already. I am definitely bookmarking! You really no never cease to amaze me with your work. I can just tell Melissa is going to adore this. This poem is exactly what the contest calls for and you are so getting a Gold for this one. Gold! Ya hear?!
Love and best wishes,
Ylova
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redbird brought me here. Melikes.
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thanks! 'preciate it.
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ive been spamming you out!
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my god, joe! mel is going to loveeee you for this. seriously, you rock
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damn good.
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a poem filled with long lasting memories of a summer day. its descriptive and beautifully written. all of your poems seem to be this way. they're all so well thought and they make you wonder so much.
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