drink me in desire
until my liver quivers
thirty seven scents and an elixir later
i'll conform i swear
i'll stroke your inner thighs and
paint your eyes
on what is left of the unsure
and wait but long
drawn on
iconoclasts of the impure
as nature has it's way
and somewhere deep within this
fucked up which is me
lies waiting to be more
In a list
A contest entry
- love by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended December 29, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
"drink me in desire until my liver quivers..."
all i can do is smile. Poet, you do have a
way with words. Love, Lane
-
Super cool.
"as nature has it's way
and somewhere deep within this
fucked up which is me
lies waiting to be more..." Awesome and deserving
-
It starts off so straightforward, then dives into the abstract. I loooove when poems do that. Nicely written, and well composed. The thought started, is certainly completed.
I think, if anything, there may be a word or two that seem out of place, but if you're happy with it, all the power to you.
-
ummm... some of it sounds like you used a thesaurus overload
the tangents are a bit too out there and some dont really tie in with the rest of the poem
this is fantastic though
good luck
-
...
-
You have a weird way of lovin...lol. I think you are fakin but hey, who am I to say what love is made of...
and somewhere deep within this
fucked up which is me
lies waiting to be more...
loved this part.
♥Becky♥
on...
-
god damn
fourteen views and only two comments
how can this be good?
people must either be afraid of confused
either way, fuck you
this is all for me
and my ego is quite waffled about now
-
-
man you know this is the bomb!
wanted to comment further last nite but too drunk to formulate anything half ass befitting if even coherent.
i'll lick your inner thighs and
paint your eyes upon the rise
that is what's left of the unsure
but waits and long
drawn on
iconoclasts of the impure
dude thats simply golden
-
-
bookmarked
-
-
love that picture by the way
intimidating -
lol i seen you added this to your favorites yet hadn't comented
glad you got a kick out of it brother
makes it all worthwhile
cheers!
-
-
this is true love
take it or better be leavened
like Pillsbury dough boys
that seek to leave
wings on your tongue -
Your love is just freakin' weird though you do have hope at the end, I think
but get rid of the penis man!
Love the second couplet though. -
-
i did though and i actually like it better.. lol
-
ok, i got rid of my penis just for you...
but i laughed my ass off
and i have have a nice ass really, i think
damn you -
lol
get rid of the penis?
damn, you ask way too much
get a grip doll
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
