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Broken Bones

I've touched darkness
and watched it drip from my fingertips

I let it run across
the purity of my flesh
and devour whatever naivety
was left in me

somehow,

I've fallen at your feet
among the broken bones
and thick muscle that still beats
itself upon the cold ground

you have such an aggressive smile

and smother me
with the mud of your words
stuck in the potholes
of my soul











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Im still revising this piece. Constructive criticism is welcome

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Terry Collett
    March 5, 2009
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    Whatever you do, Catie, never give up writing poems; the poem here is a classic.


  • Mariana
    January 6, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is so hauntingly beautiful. I know many people have experienced the coming of the darkness...living with it...and coping with the aftermath of it. Eloquently expressed. Bravo!

    Mariana


  • goingnowherefast
    January 5, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    i like this it's very raw and emotional.


    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      January 5, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      thank you

      lol... i was just editing it as you read it

      but thanx for the read


  • divebar
    January 4, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    stanza 2- naivety
    4- i might remove itself
    6- i might remove everything after that spewes. in fact comparing mud and tar is a little iffy.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    January 2, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    A revealintion is disccused here showing the truth of the life..and shared here the sentiments faced by the soul..wonderfusl work indeed...


  • Debbysmiles gold member
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome writing. Deep and emotive. This piece has a life of it's own. Well done poet. d


  • Dalaney gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great title...superb poem.
    dark imagery at its best...
    love, lane


  • Greenhorn
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful piece... all the lines have huge impact. Great dark write. Absolutely amazing.


  • haikumonk silver member
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Powerful, dark write. Well done............


  • Iridessa MoonFlower
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmmn What can I say? This is a lovely dark write. I m very pleased that you entered my contest. Good luck! In Love & Light... Blessed Be! ~~Iridessa~~


  • JadeMantis
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely stunning! Great take on the given picture. All the best to you in the contest.


  • chilali
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Your poetry never ceases to amaze me. I love this completely. You have outdone with yourself in this piece. The imagery is amazing and the story behind it is wonderful. Great work. I entered this contest as well, but hehe, this piece totally beats mine!
    All the best to you in the contest love.

    Ylova

1 - 14 of 14