Skies full with clouds of clotted cream
Heavy and dark with shorter days
Our love was now a dimming dream
Fading fast ‘neath an icy glaze
Sunday dawned at twenty below
Icicles hung down from the eaves
Crystal fingers all in a row
Powdery snow covered the leaves
We planned to stay abed till late
Because the room was cold as death
A few coals still glowed in the grate
Yet still I could see my breath
It will be over soon my sweet
As we snuggle under the covers
This will be the last time we meet
On this earth as secret lovers
In the chilling numbness we sleep
Death came as softly as the snow
All part of this pact that we keep
It was such an easy way to go
A contest entry
- WINTER by Rhythm Child.
400 points, ended January 11, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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How sad yet so beautiful to end your days with the one you love even if it is a pact of death.
Only true love could dare tread that path where nobody else would even venture to fullfill such a promise of eternal ending.
I like it, I like it so!
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Nice write. Appropriate setting for this pact, a peaceful way.
Enjoyed your write.
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ohhh what a sad poem - but at least as you say it was an easy way, in love's company, stilll... it would have been nice to wake up and smile, i love this thoguht, and the pace and rhythm you present add that extra sparkle.
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Nothing more need be said...
you assimilate endings so well here, but more
than that: acceptance. Winter is a berth, a
transistioning of passed to renewed. You show
this through rhyme and the lightness of inferred.
Blue
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It's a good write but I'm not certain about the subject. I should talk after all the downers I write. Happy trails.
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thankyou for entering. I hope you enjoy the contest and have fun.
take care
message me for anything
Rhythm Child
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I know I will be reading the very best
when I come to your poetry. Your rhyme
is absolutely perfect - and the stories you
tell are precious in every way. Love, Lane
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Oh my, this was most shocking
Like stepping out from the heat
Into snow with no stocking
In my poor naked bare feet!
Well written dear.
Love, Michael
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Lyrical lilt and imagery that is sobering, the lovers tryst that is held firm woven in each others arms until the embrace of death felt not dark but akin to the last dance. I often think and feel too deeply and also a tad differently, so I am not depressed by this but see it as the last beautiful thing that each did for the other, held them in life into death. We all face death, whether in winter or a more seasonal season, what better way to die then, not in a sterile hospital, or publicly in a car crash, but cocooned in a loving embrace. I hope I die laughing, loving or doing something that made life worth living. NB no suggestions for other causations thankyou, have had plenty , lmao, well done hon'
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The beauty in dying together, is maybe not as romantic as most well known tragic love affairs. This could never be me, I cant stand to be cold.
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Pat
what sort of Christmas cheer is this!
It's wonderful in what it does, makes me feel cold and deppressed for sure...
Oh well, suits the weather we've been having.
This has been one dismal month for sure.
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My cold poem fails in comparison with your "Bitter Cold" ending with life aching inside, while mine ends with death, I must be a morbid soul. 'Tis the season to be jolly...now just where did I put my jolly... Ha!
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Oh...sad, death, forbidden love, snow and embers low...this poem has everything needed for a classic. I loved your take on winter, parralleling the coldness of weather with the coldness of death. great write, best of luck in the contest...alby
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I guess I must lean toward tragedy and drama, thank you for a classic comment!
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